Perspective, Impact, Grace: How Hope Became a Family Mission

How do you survive the death of your husband, then one child... and then another? How do you hold on to hope when your own children are battling the same rare genetic cancer that took their father?

In this extraordinary episode of The P-I-G, sisters Kellie and Erin sit down with Diane Herman, a mother, founder, and unwavering woman of faith whose story defies understanding—and radiates grace.

Diane walks us through her unimaginable journey:
 💔 The loss of her husband Travis after a 13-year battle with cancer.
 💔 The loss of her daughters Hope and Isabelle, both diagnosed with the same rare genetic disease.
 💙 Marrying Justin (Travis's brother) and the simultaneous cancer diagnoses of her son Slate and daughter Isabelle—just one week apart.
 🌍 And the life-changing decision to move to Guatemala and found House of Hope, a children’s home that has now served over 170 children.

Through every heartbreak, Diane found purpose. Today, she pours her love into the children of Guatemala, leads two non-profits (House of Hope + the Loom Project), and continues to live out the very legacy her children inspired. Her words are rooted in faith, resilience, and an unwavering belief that legacy is built not in what we leave behind—but in how we live through life’s hardest moments.

Released just before Mother’s Day, this episode honors not only the strength of one extraordinary mother—but the unbreakable bond between love, loss, and legacy. Whether you're navigating your own grief, supporting a loved one, or simply seeking light in the darkness, Diane’s story is one you’ll never forget.

Show Resources & Links: 

• Learn about & support House of Hope & The Lüm Project
• Purchase & read Mothers Like Me: Stories of Faith, Hope, and Love in Loss

Chapters

• 0:00 Diane's Journey To and Through Loss
• 17:54 Travis's Cancer Battle and Legacy
• 31:16 Finding New Love and More Challenges
• 42:54 Hope's Diagnosis and Heavenly Journey
• 58:59 Founding House of Hope in Guatemala
• 1:04:00 Slate and Izzy's Simultaneous Cancer Battles

Transcript

Kellie: 0:09

How do you survive the death of your husband, then one child and then another? How do you hold on to hope when your own children are battling the same rare genetic cancer that took their father? And how do you take all that grief and use it to build something beautiful for others?

Erin: 0:26

Diane Herman doesn't just have answers. She's living proof that legacy isn't what we leave behind. It's how we face what's given to us and live through it, even and especially when we don't understand it and can't make sense of it.

Erin: 0:41

Welcome to the PIG, where we explore life, love, loss and legacy through real conversations and meaningful stories. We're your hosts. I'm Erin...

Kellie: 0:51

... and I'm Kellie. Today's conversation invites you into a story of deep faith, unimaginable loss and unwavering purpose. Through every twist and trial, Diane Herman has continued to show up with love, courage, extraordinary grace and a mission that now serves hundreds of women, children and families across Guatemala. Her life is a testimony to what it means to carry hope forward through heartbreak, into healing and out into the world.

Kellie: 1:42

Well, Diane, it is such a pleasure and a privilege and an honor, quite honestly, to have you joining us today. We have a lot of ground to cover. I want to lay the foundation for our listeners about how we even got here to begin with. So all three of us are from Colorado.

Kellie: 1:59

Our history goes back to the mid-2000s, when you and I both owned franchises across the state from each other. I was in Grand Junction and you were in Fort Collins, and I was in Fort Collins visiting Erin with a friend of mine, and Erin said to me don't make any plans for dinner, I have plans for dinner. And so she went into the refrigerator and she pulled out this pre-made meal and Tammy and I our jaws just hit the ground. We were just in awe of what she pulled out and what she made. I can't remember, Erin, what it was I think it was some kind of casserole but it was incredible and it was from a meal prep food business that you owned called Supper Solutions. It was a franchise based in Denver that you owned called Supper Solutions. It was a franchise based in Denver and within a matter of weeks, tammy and I decided we were going to open Supper Solutions in Western Colorado, and so we did. It was an incredible ride.

Kellie: 2:55

We worked together as colleagues and became friends through that process, and it was during that time that I really got to know the depth of your beautiful family story and your family's legacy and your journey from then to now is one of the most extraordinary life experiences that I've ever watched unfold. Of anybody that I know, it's a true inspiration. There's many layers of loss that are part of your journey in a very short life already, but the way that you have approached that and handled that with such grace, your faith, and how you have tapped into resilience and perseverance and continue to show up in the world every single day with unbridled joy and I know it's not always easy is something that I have truly admired, both close and from afar, and so I really look forward to exploring and unpacking that journey today and, Erin and I deeply appreciate you agreeing to be here and be with us and to share your journey and your story of life, love, loss and legacy with our listeners.

Diane: 4:08

Wow, that's quite an introduction. Thank you so much for having me and I can tell you for sure it's only because of the Lord that I'm sitting here today, for sure. So yeah, our story started. My story started back in Western Kansas. I was born and raised there and went to K-State and started dating my soon-to-be husband and he was the oldest of four boys and I was the youngest of three girls. In our senior year of college we got engaged. That was in August, and in March we went home for spring break to just put final touches on the wedding and the wedding was set for May 29th, and that was in 1993. And when we went home on spring break his mom thought he looked a little pale. So she took him to the doctor and after several tests, in a few weeks he was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. It was the first real blow of my life.

Diane: 4:57

Raised in a Christian home never really had super amount of challenges in my life that required a ton of faith, but when that happened it sure did change that perspective. So we knew that God had brought us together and that was what we were supposed to do. So, even though they said he was going to live three months and I knew I was supposed to be his wife for however long he was on this earth. So we he had surgery to remove moved two feet of his colon and started chemotherapy and a week later, May 29th, we got married and the first seven months of our marriage he was on treatment and it was a really interesting, quickly growing up season for us. He just was on chemo every Friday at noon and then he would be really sick all weekend and then he would go back to work Monday morning. He sold animal health pharmaceuticals and during that season we learned to not sweat the small stuff and as a newly married couple and I wish I could just put that in a bottle and give it to every newly married couple because it helps you with perspective and what's important and it teaches you how to live kind of a different life. He finished his chemo in December and then in January we got to take our honeymoon to Jamaica delayed honeymoon and came home discovered we were expecting our first child, which was amazing because the doctors thought he would never be able to have kids and you know, with the chemo and everything. But in September of 1994, Slate was born and we were just overwhelmed with joy, because I wanted so badly to be able to give him a child. He loved his little brothers and grew up taking care of them, and he just was one of those men that's meant to be a dad.

Diane: 6:37

So, right after Slate was born, the cancer came back for the first time. It came back to his liver, and we were just pretty blown away, and it was a huge challenge for my faith, because I had prayed three times a day for a year and a half for that cancer to never return, and thanking God for healing, and when that happened, it just really brought me to my knees and I had to decide if that was something I could continue to trust God with. And, of course, we didn't have a lot of choice at that time, and I wasn't at the place where I could walk away and do it on my own. So we went to Houston, to MD Anderson, and he had some different surgeries for the tumors in his liver, and over about the next about seven years, his cancer came back about every year to 18 months, to his liver Came back five different times. So during that time, though, we got to be blessed with our daughter, hope, and then Isabel in 2000, which was just such a blessing and I never gave up on having faith in the Lord and his will for us and knowing that he is good and he is sovereign, and I had to just pour into that with my whole heart and leave nothing on the table. And that's kind of how I've learned to live my life and very much teaching our kids when they were growing up that this is not our home and we are passing through and this life is short and this life is just a mist compared to eternity it talks about in Deuteronomy. So we very much had our kids be heaven focused, and I'm really glad I did. It changed who they were, it changed how I parented, it changed our goals as families and it just was a really good thing to give your kids as far as faith in this. This world is not our own.

Diane: 8:18

So, moving on, we moved to Estes Park, Colorado, in 2000, when Isabelle was born, and that's why I got to Colorado, and so we moved down the mountain about a year later and the cancer came back about six months later to his lungs and it was the first time in his lungs and in Colorado, you know, in the altitude, that was not a good thing. So the Lord had provided and we had decided to move down anyway. We just felt like we should. So we got to buy a house in a neighborhood. That was one of the first houses out there and back when houses were so much cheaper than they are now. So we got to start a life down there and he was still working full time and doing treatment and whatnot.

Diane: 9:02

And in about 2005, he struggled and it was the same year that we opened Supper Solutions. So we started the store build out in October of 04, and then opened in 05 in January, and I can remember him coming to the store and sitting on the stool and just watching us prep meat. He's like I didn't know you were going to have to prep a half a beef every day. The amount of work was just shocking, but it was. It was, it was, but he was there for it and then I could bring the kids there to the store and and him and it was a gift that season was.

Diane: 9:38

So in August of 2005, he had continued to decline and on the 10th he didn't want to do hospice and so we had been at home and he was on the couch. I'll never forget. And he talked to me about his brother and about taking care of our family and I just wouldn't hear of it Because even though I look back at pictures and Travis was so sick, I didn't even contemplate the idea of him dying. And that night it was about 11 o'clock and he was fading and I took the kids upstairs and put them in bed with me and he passed away August 10th 2005. And our kids were 10, 8 and 5 at the time and just in that moment I'm glad I had such a faith, because that is when the rubber meets the road and you either trust the Lord or you just get angry. The road and you either trust the Lord or you just get angry, and anger just doesn't do anybody any good, it's a dead end. So I'll never forget the kids praying over him that night and Hopi was our prayer warrior and she just laid her hands on him and prayed. And so I was a little nervous the next day about the kids and walking in their faith and we went down to my in-law's house down the street and Hope prayed for our meal and she just prayed for so many good things and other people and she didn't even blink in her faith and I just pretty much stood in awe, because that's kind of unusual with kids and adults, I feel like.

Diane: 10:59

So during that year was a time of just kind of circling the wagons and just surviving, I mean working 12-hour days at Supper Solutions and being a single mom man. That is not for the weak at heart, and I'll never forget Isabel cried every night for a year for her dad. That killed me. But you know, at Supper Solutions it was so interesting because all of my customers didn't really know my personal life, you know. So I'd go to the store and then people wouldn't know anything about me. So I just threw myself into my work, and you know that's easy to do at that place because there's so much work.

Kellie: 11:33

There was a lot of work there. I have a question for you, Diane. What did you find solace in that work and being able to escape in that place?

Diane: 11:43

Absolutely and just, it wasn't rocket science, you know, it was just hard work and a lot of it and it took my mind off where I was at, because you know, when you grieve like that, I just really hesitated to do grief groups and all those things because I just was so discouraged. Like it can't change, it's not going to change, the next break I get is when we get to eternity. So just, I'm not one of those that wants to rehash everything all the time. I just, for me, don't see a lot of purpose in it. I mean, the Lord and I spent a lot of time together in that store but as far as a lot of people like to grieve verbal communication and whatnot and I just had to cry out to the Lord and be still and that's how I did that year. That was so hard. And then during that year I talked to my brother-in-law, who was 16 months younger than Travis, and Travis had talked to him before he died and asked to take care and we were both so broken. Some people leave a mark on your life and some people leave a crater, and Travis was his best friend and he was my world. So it was just a gift from the Lord to be able to have Justin step into our lives.

Diane: 12:47

And about a year later we decided to get married. And people are so funny. They're like how long did you date? I'm like, "date. I knew what I was getting into. So did he? He was a 35-year-old bachelor, like you are getting ready to move on a rapidly moving train. I'm like he's the guy that does Monday night three loads of laundry, towels, whites and darks, like he should have been military. I'm like this is going to be very interesting. So anyway, he stepped up and I just felt like God was saying do this and do it now. So we talked about it in May and got married June the 4th, and when God pushes me like that, I try hard to do it and be quick to obey. And I'm so glad I did, because July 16th of that year is when Hope was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma and it just blew me away.

Diane: 13:34

It just so devastating. And we had her tested and she had a gene called Leigh-Fermini syndrome which causes childhood cancer, which they said that's what Travis had. And so we had the other kids tested and Isabel tested positive and Slate tested negative. Watching Travis fight and do chemo for 13 years was one thing, but watching Hope go through that, the suffering was so tremendous. With that chemo she just puked 18 out of 21 days and I mean she dropped 10 pounds so fast and just suffered. She suffered a lot with the surgery and with the rehab and just everything.

Diane: 14:08

They took the tumor out in October, I believe, of that year and put in a repitilous femur and just relearning to walk and she had some tendon damage and it just was hard, you know. But she didn't lose her faith and she didn't lash out at the Lord and she just had watched her dad fight and she knew how to do this. So we just did as a family came together and it was just a tough season. But it showed my kids that this life is not easy and we don't deserve an easy life. That's not what God promised us. We will have trouble in this world. That's what he promises. So we talked about that a lot with her and the next year she went into full remission with that answer. It was amazing and we got to do a make a wish trip to Hawaii and just had the greatest time that summer.

Diane: 15:07

And then October came in 2007 and she just kind of was tired. So I took her in for a regular checkup. They diagnosed her quickly with leukemia at that point and just devastating Telling your child that if there's nothing that doctors can do, I don't ever want to do that again, ever. It was just how old was she? She was 10 at the time, yeah, and just we cried and we talked about a bone marrow transplant. It was a possibility, but the doctors really didn't think it was a good possibility and it was a lot of pain and suffering.

Diane: 15:43

And she said you know, if the Lord wants to heal me, he will, and if not, I'm ready to go home. And I mean those words were so big and powerful. And so we prayed and we prayed, and we prayed and she got to record a song in Christ alone and I still get to listen to it. It's the most beautiful thing, her little sweet voice. But she really meant that. She meant every word of that song. And that was the coolest thing about her is that her faith didn't waver. And I didn't know at the end you know when your kids change their mind, and I just prayed for the Lord for her not to just change her mind and beg to live, and she didn't. If anything, she acted excited. Just hold on. She was ready to do it. I just am still blown away by her faith. So then, january, january, the 8th of 2000, I'm sorry, january 11th 2008, she was laying in my bed and in my arms and I'll never forget.

Diane: 16:36

Her breathing was getting more shallow and more shallow and she just looked up and said how do I die, mommy? And I said is Jesus there? He's there, just look for him. And she took her last breath in my arms and I just felt my heart shatter in a million pieces and I just begged the Lord to bring her back, because he can do that. He did it in the Bible, you know. But sometimes God says no and that's where we have to decide if we trust him. And you know, faith is saying yes, that barrel on this rope will make it across Niagara Falls, but trust is when you get in that barrel, you know when I was so in the barrel.

Diane: 17:12

So when that happened, you know again, we kind of circled the wagons and really had to think about why am I here? What am I here for in this life, you know? So I was still at Supper Solutions then, but then, in 2011, I closed my store and went to work at the school where my kids were, and then we went on a mission trip in 2011 to Guatemala, and I think the Lord just had our hearts in the right place, because we came down here and we saw all these kids that needed advocates for them and they were abandoned and abused and suffering and I could just feel our hearts turn for these kids and we had a big fat hole in our hearts. So we went home and prayed about it and a year later, moved down full time in 2012. And, as you know, I didn't have a degree in social work. I was a business girl and my husband was sold pharmaceuticals I mean, not a lick of Spanish. So I'm like, when God likes to use people that are completely ill-equipped for his glory, that's us, you know.

Diane: 18:10

So we moved down in 2012 and I got to meet a little boy at an orphanage across the city. His name was Max and he had missing one leg. It was cut off at the knee from a birth defect. He was missing a finger and a thumb and a big toe and on his other leg was a band. So it's called restricted band syndrome and it happens in utero and it's where these strings just wrap around in different digits. And so he was born and had already cut off his one leg, but the band was on the other foot and it was around his ankle. It was pinching, pinching every day that he would live.

Diane: 18:45

So we'd go over there. Isabel was 12. We'd go over there and work on his little foot and push the blood up so it would recirculate because it wouldn't pump out of that foot. And then we got to have surgery for him and saved that little foot and got to know him more and more and decided he should be ours, even though totally not the law in Guatemala. You're not supposed to know the kid, you're not. You know we had to get residency. We had to jump through many, many, many, many hoops and it had to be the Lord. So I'm like if the Lord wants us to do this, he will make it happen. So we worked in the villages down here during those years and at medical clinics and got to know these women in the village that I just love so much. And in 2015, we were able to start House of Hope, which is a children's home.

Diane: 19:25

It was really far out of our realm of knowledge, but I got to work at the orphanage where Max was at for three years to kind of learn the ropes from the director over there, and she's an amazing woman of faith, guatemalan gal that just taught me everything she knew and I just soaked it up. While I played with that kid and Isabel and I would go over there a lot. So it was right down the street from Isabella's ballet school that she went to I found a school. We drove by it on the way to Max's orphanage. So I'm like, hey, there you go. And it's so funny because in Guatemala it was all covered in metal and there's guards outside. It's just a different world. So I'm like I don't know what's going on in there, but there was a poster of a ballerina on the front, like let's go check that out. So I went and did that and she was brave. She was a different kid too. So she went in there and started doing ballet, all in Spanish Totally terrifying. It totally helped her learn Spanish very quickly. She was our best Spanish speaker. So I would go play with Max and work out that orphanage and she would do dance. We did this for several years and, yeah, it was really a cool season.

Diane: 20:24

So in 2015, we opened the orphanage in January and then we got to adopt Max. In March. He came with us and, wow, just our hands were full. We were so far out of our league. So I've learned every day to rely on the Lord for the things I have to do here and it's just become a way of life because it's so far out of my league. But it's been really a cool journey.

Diane: 20:44

And so we were clicking along 2015, 16 and 17 and getting more kids and Isabel got to try out for the Joffrey Ballet in New York the school and you know you tell your kids you can do it and then she got accepted, she got a scholarship and so when she was 15, she moved to New York and lived on the Upper West Side and cooked for herself and homeschooled herself and took the subway to dance for six hours a day with really mean Russian teachers. So she was an extraordinary kid. But I knew she had that gene, you know, and when you know your kid to be on the clock, I am one to help them live their dreams Absolutely. And I wanted a lot of people like were you so sad you let her go? And I'm like, absolutely not, I get to spend all of eternity with her. And she met some girls in that school that she introduced to church and took them to church with her and they still are friends to this day and it's just I'm like, who am I to get in the way of her work on this earth that she has to do. So it was a hard decision, but just not how I. I'm a launcher with kids, so I mean it's hard and it's easier to keep them right here at home, but I know my kids have a purpose in this world. So she did Joffrey for a few years and then she graduated early a year and went to Liberty University and Slate had been at Grand Canyon University for four years and then he decided to go to law school, which kind of shocking to me. We didn't have any of those in our family, but again, I didn't know what that kid would want to do, and so he went to CU because of the in-state tuition, which was a lot cheaper although that killed me because we are K-Staters, but anyway, yeah, so Slate was at CU in his second year of law school and Isabel was in her first second year, also at Liberty.

Diane: 22:29

And I got a call Friday night, September 14, 2018. And Slate said Mom, I went to the doctor this week, I was kind of tired and the lab just called and they said I need to go to the ER right now. And so he told me his count and I'm just like this doesn't even make sense. So I called that lab person and they didn't give me any trouble with HIPAA, they just told me his white count. I'm like, is this leukemic? And they said it looks like it is. I mean, I was just stunned, absolutely stunned, because this was my healthy kid. He doesn't have the gene. Yeah, this was your kid who didn't have those markers. No, did not have the gene, you know. So that was just once again on my knees, stunned, stunned.

Diane: 23:08

And my husband had just boarded a 15-hour flight from Mumbai and he had been over there on a mission trip. I had Max in Guatemala and we had changed his name, so we had to get him a new visa. So we had an appointment at the embassy but I couldn't take him out of the country. So I left the next morning and left him with a friend and headed back to Colorado and Slate was in the hospital in Greeley and they were taken off 280,000 white cells. It just, it was just a horrific scene.

Diane: 23:33

And Isabelle was just devastated and she'd been sick, she'd had pneumonia at Liberty and it was a mess. So she's like, "Mom, I have to come home, I can't stay here if he's sick Cause. That's just what we do. We kind of the circumstances we've lived through. So my sister went to get Isabel and brought her back and Slate was in the hospital and Isabel that week kind of stayed away because he didn't have any white cells and she didn't feel good at all. So I finally took her to the doctor later in the week and they did a blood test and then she had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop and she didn't have any platelets and so they diagnosed her with leukemia a week to the day after Slate. So you know, that's just unheard of. I just thought it had to be a mistake. So I had her on one side of the hall and him on the other side of the hall and no time to really ponder what was happening, because I know you got to jump in and gird your loins and you got to have your mom face on and pay attention, because you're hearing so many things and it's just a lot, so digesting all that.

Diane: 24:35

And Slate had started chemo by this time and it's a 30-day treatment, a very, very intensive chemo, and at the end of the 30 days Slate had gone into remission, I said. But he had to have chemo for three and a half years. Good news, bad news. So he had to drop out of law school that year and he did ugly chemo for a year. But then he went on to finish law school and met his wife along the way, which is a God thing completely. And now they live in Washington DC and they just had their first baby girl. So, being a grandma, I just can't even believe it. God is faithful.

Diane: 25:26

So, Isabelle, she did the same treatment for 30 days and she did not go into remission. So she continued other chemo and then she did a CAR T cell transplant and some other different things and went into remission and then the next summer got to go and work at summer camps that she loved and teach kids and had a great time that summer. It was amazing to watch her doing so well and him doing well and we were doing it. And then in October that year he came back with a vengeance and since she had failed the chemo, they had to do a bone marrow transplant. So she did the transplant October, beginning of October, and was in the hospital 38 days with that and they bring you down to nothing and it was so much pain and suffering and I'd always wondered if I should have done that with hope, you know, and made her do it or just really encouraged her to do that.

Diane: 26:15

And after watching this, no way. It was the most inhumane thing. She had sores from the tip of her tongue through her whole intestines to her tail. The pain and the suffering was unbelievable. And she got through it and she rang the bell and we went next door at the beginning of November, I guess, to stay at a house right by the hospital and we went back the next day for platelets and they did her pull socks.

Diane: 26:40

It was like 86. And they're like do you feel like you can breathe? She's like my shoes feel heavy. She had on these big Nike tennis shoes, these high tops. So she was just up, her shoes were heavy and moved her. They admitted her onto the floor and pretty soon. They just weren't liking how it was going. So they moved her down to the ICU pretty quick that night and then they needed to intubate her that night and so she crawled up on that table and she said, "Mom, I will do this for you, I'm ready to go home. So she leaned back and she looked at her doctor and she said Jeff, do you know Jesus, because he's got the tube here, he's going to intubate her.

Diane: 27:14

"Yes, Isabelle, I do so. She had a faith that was admirable for me. I am blessed by their faith in the Lord. So she was intubated and on life support for 76 days and then, on February 21st of 2020, she passed away. You know, and she was my best friend, she was my right arm in this ministry. She was my husband calls her her mini-me. You know, she was just so much fun and we miss her every day. But I know that one of these days we're going to all be together again and I just pour myself into House of Hope wholeheartedly daily, because each time we see one of these little kids come into our care and we can love them and clean them up and nurture them and heal them and prepare them to find their forever family and teach them the love of Jesus, it just helps to put my heart back together, one piece at a time.

Diane: 28:07

We've had 173 kids now through House of Hope and right now we have 23 and our oldest is six. So we do littles, yeah, we have a lot of babies, yeah, but it's just this beautiful place. House of Hope is just this haven that. It's just not what you think as an orphanage. You know, it kind of looks like Pinterest threw up. Of course it does, but yeah, it's like little red and white barns and different buildings and it's so funny. Today our six-year-old had court and the psychologist. He's been with us for three years, three and a half years, we've had him forever and we just didn't think there was any family. And they found grandparents. And they came today and the psychologist asked Gustavo, I know it's a big day. Every day it seems like something amazing like this happens. God is faithful. Anyway, this psychologist asked Gustavo if he wanted to live in the orphanage or if he wanted to live with his grandparents. He said, "I don't live in an orphanage, I just have a house. We live together.

Erin: 29:10

God so beautiful.

Diane: 29:11

He doesn't know he lives in an orphanage.

Diane: 29:14

He doesn't know he lives in an orphanage. I'm like, darn right, we don't use that word. This is our home and we love these kids with all we got. It's a big family. And his words today were so comforting to my heart, because I don't want those kids to feel like they are less than and that they're not wanted, and we've tried so hard to make them feel like ours. And having that kid say that today, I'm like that just was a kiss from the Lord. What an extraordinary gift. It's good, it's good stuff. And so then we also have Finca Isabel. We opened about five years ago or more than that now Wow Seven. And so we have a farm out in the country that we named after her and we use it for discipleship and camps and different things, and then we also grow coffee and vegetables, and kids just need to be outside. I'm from Kansas, indeed, yeah, yeah.

Erin: 30:03

You're talking to two farm girls here, so we get it.

Diane: 30:06

Exactly, it's just good. It's just good stuff to have your hands in the dirt and they help pick things and they love it out there. And then we do the loom project also, which is stems back to the ladies I met when we did the medical clinics and I just we opened this orphanage and I'm like didn't want to leave them hanging. You know, I hate to say I'll pray for you and then I walk off and I just felt like the Lord put that on my heart, Although I was like not really wanting to run another business I really wasn't. I'm like, Lord, I'm very happy with my orphans, but they're sisters in Christ, they love the Lord and they are the poorest people I know.

Diane: 30:38

So we've done life together a long time and so they weave on their back looms and so we make products and bring them back to the States and go to different craft fairs and whatnot. So it's a good business for them. It helps put food on the table and it helps give medicine for their kids. And I just love women. Helping women and that's what I love so much about Supper Solutions is I felt like all our employees were juggling 16 things and everybody had kids and it was just one of those seasons of let's just all do a little bit and then we can all do our kids and it's like that, you know, you just love these women and it's a cool thing when the church is the church. So that's my story.

Erin: 31:18

Wow, diane, thank you first and foremost for walking us through that and sharing that. For as long as I've known you and I worked at Supper Solutions for you and I was working there actually when Hope died, and so I remember walking through that, but there's so much to your story that you just shared that I did not know, about you and your history and your family. So thank you for that. It's so beautiful. I have several questions. You are such an extraordinary human being. You are.

Diane: 31:56

When people say that I just am like it is not pretty over here and it's 100% Jesus, let me tell you I know and I know that that is how you feel and your belief is extraordinary.

Erin: 32:11

But from the outside, looking in and observing you and your family and your work and the path that you have walked because you've had to, but, like Kellie referenced in the beginning, your strength and your resilience and the love that you continue to just pour out is extraordinary and, I would also venture to say, pretty unique.

Erin: 32:37

I think that to be able to experience all that life has thrown at you and still be able to get out of bed every day and put one foot in front of the other and continue to do your extraordinary work and to continue to show others and to be an example is, it's just such a beautiful thing. I have so much respect and admiration for you. My first question, if we can go all the way kind of back to the beginning, kind of back to the beginning is when you moved from Estes Park down to Fort Collins, colorado, did you have family there? And is Fort Collins where Travis and Justin and their family was from? Because you mentioned you had family just down the street. I would love to know a little bit more about the family that was around you and the family that was present and walked through some of this with you. If you could just shed a little bit of light into kind of your support system through that time.

Diane: 33:43

Sure, we moved in 99 from Kansas City out to Colorado. I'd always wanted to live there since I was a kid. They're from Western Kansas and you know how that is. You always have it close to you. So I'd wanted to do that forever and my husband got an opportunity for a job out there. So we went to Estes to live for a year to just kind of look all over the front range about where I live. And no, we had no family out there.

Diane: 34:06

But God had a plan because we were out there for about a year and then Justin moved out from Kansas City because with Travis's illness it took a village, you know, and Justin was a pretty big part of all of his treatment, and Justin would fly from Kansas City down to Houston. We were living in Kansas so we would drive down and take the kids. And then a few years later I conned my in-laws into moving out there. They were leaving one time to go back to Kansas and Hope was running down the street after them. I'm like, yep, it worked. So they came and I picked a house out right down the block from me. I'm like I love, I have the greatest in-laws. My mother-in-law is one of my best friends and I just look back on the goodness of God and that she loved me so much like a daughter she still does. But having their support right down the street for my kids, even though we were in this big town, could ride their bikes down to grandma's around the corner. That was a cool way to do this life where we had to very much team everything with Travis's chemo and the trips from school and we were running to Houston every flip stitch.

Diane: 35:10

And family is so important. My mom and dad live in Kansas, but my mom would come out and stay for a month or something when Hope was sick and just to be there. So just that's. Another thing that I'm so grateful for is the support I had of family. I don't know how these people do it without the Lord and I don't know how they do it without family, because I've got a great one, and I don't know how they do it without family, because I've got a great one. I'm so grateful for them. So that is one of the reasons. I mean, we've seen the impact and the need for family over the years.

Diane: 35:37

And then you move to Guatemala and people live with their parents until they grow up and get married. It's very cultural here and so we actually adopted two daughters two years ago just two more. We were just one more at a time ago just two more. We were just one more at a time. But Norma, she was in the same orphanage where Max was, when they were babies together, and it took me a decade to get her declared adoptable and get her out of there. It just was a terrible case. So we got to adopt her a year and a half ago, and then Norby, the same time. We'd known her since about well, the first year.

Diane: 36:06

We moved there, 2012. And she's 27 now. But no, family and life is hard when you're by yourself, and we've loved her. We asked her when she was 16 if she wanted to be a Herman, so she thought about it and we asked her another decade and I'm like we're still here and so she said yes, and so she lives with us here in Guatemala and it's just a family man. It's been a huge impact on my life and just you know, would it be easier to not do any of this? Yes, it would, but you know, I feel like I'm here for a reason. I might as well make it count.

Kellie: 36:37

To me, you are the epitome and your family is the epitome of living out your legacy while you're alive, and I hear that in the way Travis lived, the way Hope lived in her very short little life, the way that Izzy lived, and it's what you're doing as a family.

Kellie: 36:58

There's so much loneliness that comes through life and loss, and we could spend a lot of time unpacking all the layers that are part of your story, but the foundational aspect of family I find really, really powerful. So I would like to unpack a little bit, because you have such a unique situation with Travis and his brother, justin, who is now your husband, and the life that the two of you have built and the nuclear family that you were able to create is such a unique and beautiful story. I know that people probably have a lot of questions about that, and I was listening to you describe the relationship with your mother-in-law, who is your best friend, and what an incredible experience for her as well. I mean, you've all navigated this so beautifully together, but she got to get you as a daughter-in-law twice. I know it's crazy.

Diane: 38:01

And that's the thing too. It's like I didn't want my kids to have a different last name. And it's not perfect, you know, nothing is, and I know it wouldn't be, but I knew that when push came to shove he would have my back, you know, and he would die for my kids. I mean, the first year of our marriage, I think, he spent the night on the hospital floor about 77 nights, you know and helped catch the puke. That's just unheard of, you know, when I knew you have to be pretty tough to be my husband, because life is not easy, but he, you know, didn't even miss a beat.

Erin: 38:35

Well, I'm sure for him too, like I mean those were his nieces and nephew you know those were his brother's kids and ultimately for Justin, I mean those kids were his connection to his brother, so I know he loved them unconditionally from the moment each of them came into the world.

Diane: 38:57

Yeah, and he helped so much when they were young, taught Isabella how to ride a bike while Travis sat on the porch, you know. And Slate is the spinning image of his dad and I mean Slate and Justin are so tight. It's just a gift. Slate is a gift to our whole family in that he just reminds them every day. I mean his mannerisms, it's just uncanny, and his personality and his humor and things he says. I mean my mother-in-law just stares at him. That's another kiss from the Lord. It's a good thing. I mean it's been 20 years now we're almost on 20 years of marriage. I mean it's been 20 years now, we're almost on 20 years of marriage. Can you believe that?

Erin: 39:32

Wow, no.

Diane: 39:33

I know.

Kellie: 39:40

I think it's so beautiful how the two of you built a new chapter while honoring the past, staying very grounded in the present and constantly looking forward to the future with faith and belief and resilience and hope. It's a beautiful story, thank you, it really is. And then to have made that commitment that you were going to live this next chapter together right and create this new nucleus right Of a family, and then to have hope's diagnosis right after that.

Diane: 40:10

Yeah, just shocking. And like Justin knew all the stories so he's able to keep his brother alive to my kids their whole lives. When Isabel was little, you know, we were out at a clinical trial in LA at UCLA and Travis was so sick and the kids were there and Justin came out and brought the kids and we got tickets from a nurse to go to Disney World or Disneyland or whatever's out there and he carried her on his shoulders. Justin did, and the last minute Travis was like I can't, so he stayed back at the hotel while we took the kids. And then, you know, years later Isabel thinks that's her dad that did that. It carried her, you know. So it's very much interesting what she remembered and I don't know. It was cool to be able to have him tell so many stories over the years. It just helped keep Travis's memory alive to our kids. So it's just a gift. It really was scary, make no mistake. Who does that?

Kellie: 41:02

I can imagine that was really scary, as as both a woman and a mom and a daughter-in-law and a community member all the roles that we play as women in the world I'm sure that was scary on many, many levels For both of us.

Diane: 41:17

I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, serious role in the dice. I'm not going to lie.

Kellie: 41:23

Right, this can go one way or another.

Diane: 41:26

I feel like that's what the Lord is telling me to do.

Erin: 41:29

And I would love to hear, on that, a little glimpse into some of the conversation, if you're willing to share, that you and Justin had about that and what his perspective and his take was, what his role was and what his new role was going to be, and look like as to how he walked through that as well.

Diane: 41:50

So interesting. You know when we decided to do this. We go to like some jewelry store in a mall looking fancy, and it's cold in there. It's like air conditioning and we're looking at rings and I look over and he is sweating. I'm dying laughing. Of course Isabel's with us. Izzy was with you. Oh yeah, yeah, we went on our one date and Isabel was with us. We went to Bassetti's in Fort Collins. That was our date, but, yeah, we were chaperoned by our five-year-old. So funny. Yeah, it was super interesting and dynamic.

Diane: 42:20

And when Slate's dad died, I think his childhood ended. So he was 10, and he was with Travis a lot. He would stay up at night with him while I would work at the store in the day and then I would have to sleep at night and so I was in the house, but Slate laid on the couch while Travis was in the chair. Slate is an old soul and matured very quickly. He just has always been the older brother that would measure the girls' sleeves as they came down the stairs to go to school. He's got three fingers. Hilarious, yeah, fingers, yeah, total moral police in our house.

Diane: 42:54

So Slate didn't really get parented that much by him. I mean he did when he had to, but it was an interesting relationship, you know so, and then he'd never have been around girls much. There was a lot to navigate. So you know we did it, though I mean it was so hard then because Hope was sick and I mean the grief process was so interesting because it just we didn't really get to grieve Trav anymore. We had to gird our loins for hope and I don't know it was just constantly. You know how just you're staying above water and treading as fast as you can for a long time.

Kellie: 43:21

Well, and for the two of you now entering into a new relationship and navigating all of these new roles in the same family. But now we have a new structure to our family and on the heels of that you decided that in May, got married in June and Hope's diagnosis was in July. Is that correct? It was just boom, boom, boom Right.

Diane: 43:44

We had like a month, a month of like being normal, because even our whole life with Trav we were like three month increments, because if he was well he would get tested, if he was really really well he would every three months do scans. So we lived to learn to live life and not plan more than three months at a time. You know it, just that's what you do. And then if you got a clean bill of health for three months, man, you just run like thunder and enjoy every minute. So the rug got ripped out from under me.

Diane: 44:11

You know, multiple times, every time he got sick, our whole life would change and the bottom would drop out and we would readjust and do all that. So he knew very much that style of living. But we had that one month after we got married. I'm like, wow, this is what it's like. We could like plan a vacation at Christmas, and you know, and then it didn't last at Christmas, and you know, and then it didn't last. But it was an interesting feeling to be normal for a hot minute, whatever that is.

Diane: 44:34

That was the end of that normalcy stuff.

Kellie: 44:37

And really, what is normal? When we talk about life and love, normal is different for every single person in any given place in any given moment of time. We had some pre-episode conversation about all that's happening in our lives and becoming grandmas and having adult children, which is really weird because we're holding firm to 29 and now they're surpassing us in age. You know, life is just such an incredible journey and really what is normal? I think it's a great question that we all pose. We've all had traumas, major life experiences and this opportunity to talk about them from a place of raw vulnerability, to explore the meaning and the magic of those experiences, so that we can help other people understand that, whatever path you are on, that is your normal. Embrace it, be faithful and strong in it, learn from it. And how can you create memories and what can you leave behind in your wake?

Diane: 45:47

Absolutely. The legacy is the key for me.

Kellie: 46:13

I would love to hear more about that concept from you, Diane, what legacy really means to you, given everything that we've talked about?

Diane: 46:16

You know I'm really referring mostly to this ministry and these kids and Guatemala and setting up things that will be impactful long after I'm gone, and that's why we're doing the coffee business and different ways to support the children's home. And getting staff lined out, getting assets lined out, just making the way, thinking very long-term, next generation and having an impact for the kingdom is what my legacy I want to be about.

Kellie: 46:42

Well, you are certainly doing that.

Erin: 46:44

Yes, you are.

Diane: 46:45

I'm not doing it alone.

Erin: 46:46

No, you are not.

Diane: 46:47

We know that it takes an army for sure I have a great team, but it's cool.

Diane: 46:52

I have a lot of awesome people in my world that God has brought miraculously in my path, so there's no mistake that I know that we're created for such a time as this and this purpose is great that he has, and he has brought people that know way more than I do on many, many things and drops them in my lap, and it's just pretty cool to be able to watch who he's going to bring next to my doorstep. That's really incredible.

Erin: 47:18

I would like to take a little bit deeper dive into and transition from, you know, this discussion about Travis and Justin and Hope and her short but beautiful life. I would love to hear Diane personally how differently it is to experience the loss of a spouse and the loss of a child, and what that grief looked like and how it was different and the effect that it had on your faith.

Diane: 47:52

Sure, I think when you lose the love of your life there's many different things you feel there's heartbreak and there's devastation, but then you can kind of stuff that down for a while because of the concern of driving the train by yourself kind of overtakes your heartbreak. I think there's so much for me energy into figuring out how I'm going to feed these kids and doing the whole show which I didn't have to because my in-laws were there to help with carpool and do some of that. But at night when the heads hit the pillow, you can take off that mom mask a little bit. I think that's when I had time to grieve my husband and I tried not to cry unless I was in the shower. So I cried in the shower for a year, I think. I mean I wasn't hiding my grief. But I think it's so important with your kids to give them the feeling that you're okay.

Erin: 48:41

That is getting the rug ripped out from them and I don't think it's fair to kids when mom shuts down and I've seen it, I've had friends do it and it's not good and then the impact is long lasting on these kids. And it wasn't fair that my kids had to lose their dad and I'm like they can't lose their mom too. So, with that being said, not the fear of doing it all, but just doing it and keeping up with all the balls, is something you feel a lot of when you're single. Suddenly, then, when you lose a child, it is such a different thing. It's a different morning, because you can feel like you dropped the ball. You didn't do everything you could. I tried everything I could for that girl. Well, for both of them, and I think that's where the Lord comes in the faith. Because I think that is just such a trap from Satan to think that we have all the power and that we are powerful enough that it's our fault, because that's just not the reality.

Erin: 49:36

But as a mother I think you feel like that responsibility it's my responsibility and then you grieve for the things that you won't get to see, you won't get to do. I think one of the hardest days was when I went through all their boxes in the basement of the girls' preschool letters and all that and I just threw it away because no one's going to want that. That was hard, that was the hardest thing and I have a lot of their stuff left as far as like to remember things by, but the things that you had hopes and dreams for their future how did I just give them to the Lord and let them go? You know, because having them there, just it wasn't a good thing for me. It held me back on looking to the future. It was so painful and I mean I still have a box of Isabel's stuff in the basement.

Erin: 50:22

But now I have Norma and you know I have other girls and stuff in my life that might want some of those things, but that's different than her drawings from preschool and those types of things. But one of the most valuable things I have is Isabel's Bible and I didn't even know what it was like until she passed away and I started going through it and the notes and the markings in that Bible made mine look like a new Bible, like she was in the Word and that was such a gift to me to have a Bible and I still use it and it's so encouraging because it has all her notes and her letters to the Lord and it just reminds me that I've got a kid in DC, three in Guatemala and two in heaven. And that's how I look at it, because that's just how it is to me. So I try not to dwell too much on the loss of the child, but the pause in the relationship.

Kellie: 51:10

Yeah, and we heal inside of that space. Are there ways that Travis, hope and Izzy show up in your world now?

Diane: 51:20

Oh, all the time, all the time. Especially Slate being an epitome of his dad is just a cool thing. And then seeing Hope she's on the wall at House of Hope and to know that she's truly the beautiful mashes story and what her life and her death has meant for the impact for all eternity has to give me comfort. It was not for nothing and people have come to know the Lord because of her story and that has been a gift to my heart. And Isabel just was.

Diane: 51:49

I don't know if it was different because she was 19 or what, but I think of her just every day. She was such a huge part of my life and even though she moved to New York, I think we talked more than most people whose girls live in their basement Like she would call me on every morning on the way on her subway ride in and you know we just had a lot of communication and then all the times taking her to ballet in Guatemala City. That is forward traffic. You know that windshield time was so valuable and I was her person. You know it was a really cool relationship that we had that I just have to think that so many of my friends have kids that are estranged and have walked away and you know, I'm so grateful.

Diane: 52:27

I'm grateful for the 19 years I had with Isabel, because they were gold and even just 11 with hope Wow. Their impact is long living and I've got two of my kids tucked away in the heaven of the Lord and I'm like I'm sorry for people whose kids have walked away and they have to have that constant turmoil in their heart, worried about eternity for their kids. I am not that person, so it's perspective, perspective on how you look at things. There's always someone worse off than me, always.

Kellie: 52:55

We talk about that a lot on this podcast, both perspective and gratitude, and that's what I heard in what you just shared, because perspective really does help us grieve, especially when grief isn't linear it's different for everybody. Help us grieve especially when grief isn't linear it's different for everybody and bringing light to these conversations around loss in a way that allows us to understand or capture, hold on to a perspective that we may not have seen or understood or even thought about before, and so I love how you shared that. I also think it's really fascinating, Diane, that everything that you have been through with Travis and with the kids, your journey in Colorado and I'm so grateful for the connection that we all had while you were here and then taking that to Guatemala and being able to identify with, counsel, walk alongside, nurture, love, these children and these women who have experienced unbelievable loss in their own right, in their own lives, and how those two worlds have come together is really remarkable to me.

Diane: 54:09

It's been an amazing thing to watch the Lord bring women in my path who've lost kids. Here. It doesn't matter where you're from, it doesn't matter if your floor is dirt, it doesn't matter if your kids had the best care in the whole United States for cancer. You know what? Kids die still and mother's hearts are broken and there's nothing that can speak to another woman who's lost a child like a woman who's lost a child. There's nothing that can speak to another woman who's lost a child like a woman who's lost a child. So it's been impactful here to be able to do that cross-culturally. And the suffering here is so much worse physically and these kids that come to us and the things they've been through and it's just unspeakable things have happened to them and it helps my perspective to remember how much I have to be grateful for.

Erin: 54:52

For sure. Diane, will you share with us and our listeners the journey of the simultaneous diagnosis of Slate and Isabelle, one week apart. I remember when this happened and the shock and the thoughts and the feelings of overwhelm for me from the outside, looking in like how, why, the unfairness of all of it. I would love some insight into the relationship between Slate and Isabel during that time as siblings right, I think about, obviously, Kellie and I as sisters, but the two of them being the ages that they were. I would love to hear a little bit from you about what it was like, not only for you but really for the two of them, walking this cancer journey side by side, as siblings, across the hall from each other. Sure.

Diane: 55:56

You know, they hadn't lived together since Isabel was about 13. So Slate moved away and went to college, you know, when she was in Guatemala, and so they were, you know, friends and had grown up together and whatnot. But when they were both diagnosed. I've always tried hard to focus on the positive and that was one of the most amazing things. That was so cool because our whole family came together again because we lived apart for a decade. So moving Slate back in and they were just best friends and it was such a precious season to be together.

Diane: 56:29

And those first 30 days of their treatment was such a train wreck. I cannot even tell you. And you know, I think God, when you come to the end of yourself, you get really used to just hanging on to the Lord, and that's definitely where I was walking at that point and he gives me about enough to get through half a day at a time. So I'm like half a day, half a day, you know, let's get through the next few hours. That's how much was coming at day at a time. So I'm like half a day, half a day, you know, let's get through the next few hours. That's how much was coming at us at a fire hose level. So we didn't have a place to live. We'd sold everything and moved to Guatemala, didn't have a house, didn't have a car, didn't have a couch, didn't have a bed. So not only was this diagnosis so insane, it just is unbelievable. So we moved into my in-laws basement who I love and we put two church tables in their dining room and they were covered with medicine. So, yeah, we had to just take. And I put all their meds on an Excel spreadsheet because it was so difficult to monitor all of them and we had them lined up in rows of types of medicines and a lot of them were like not take this, at 9, 12, and 6. It was like, if this happens, take this, if this happens, take this. And we had to watch them both, for Slate had high blood pressure, isabel had diabetes. This is all because of the chemo. It was a train wreck, symphony of symptoms. So that's kind of my forte is. What I've had in my background is a lot of medical, and then doing all the medical mission work in Guatemala, I just learned way more about drugs. And then, with HOPE's diagnosis too, they give you so much responsibility as a parent with a child. So I did her chemo at home and so I knew the drill a lot. But they both were on huge doses of prednisone. So they ate.

Diane: 58:13

This is my ballerina. And Slate, who was 6'4 and gained four pounds in college. I mean he was 165 pounds, soaking wet and just the skinniest people, and they could eat the most unbelievable amount of food at one sitting. They'd go through a dozen eggs at breakfast. I mean it was like a football team. So my father-in-law would run to the grocery store multiple times a day and they would eat this insane amount of food and it was just you had to laugh or cry because it was unbelievable. And so they really got into that and cooking. And then Slade decided, if he had to take a year off law school, that he wanted to become a chef. So he just was obsessed with Gordon Ramsay videos and did all the research and so he cooked all the time and she, you know they did a lot together and I have such fond memories which sounds insane, but fond memories of that year of just joy.

Diane: 59:05

And you know, I think that is just because happiness comes from circumstances and joy comes from within and joy was palpable in that house, you know, and it wasn't always pretty and we'd have to go to chemo every week in Denver and it was always forever. And then they were both so in pain and driving home and they were short tempers. It was just so unlike either one of them and again my husband had to just suck up and take the brunt of all that. But no, I mean, I remember that season with fondness. It sounds crazy, you know.

Diane: 59:37

And plus, I'm trying to run the orphanage via WhatsApp and Zoom, and I had a lot on my plate, you know, but God is faithful to give you what you need at the time. But I've got great kids, man, and they were fun, and Slate is just his dad and he is an encourager and he is happy and joyful and thinks of others. You know, and never hurts to have somebody in the house like that, and my in-laws just were so helpful and wanted to, you know, do everything and that they could, so just a family affair man. But then we got to my house and move in there and we have Max, you know, little peanut, and he just adored Isabel, so he would just lay in her bed. Every day I'd pick him up from school and I just basically do the Monsters Inc thing and give him a bath and sanitize him before he could see the kids, and we just did it. You know, it's an interesting journey this life.

Kellie: 1:00:27

Erin, after our episode with Gini, we talked about grief and gratitude coexisting in the gratitude practice that her mom would do with her when she had her Eeyore days. And I was sharing that and having a conversation about it with Marcus the other day and he said, wow, to me that is the epitome of joy. I think that's what I experienced when my dad died Gratitude was coexisting at the same time as grief, and the coming together of that was just pure joy. That was all I was feeling and experiencing and, as you were describing that, Diane, I don't know how to describe how wonderful it was. There was so much gratitude, having all the family together, the children interacting, the dynamics, as difficult as it was.

Kellie: 1:01:14

I heard grief and gratitude coexisting and I heard you express that as joy. I think that's really beautiful.

Erin: 1:01:21

That is really beautiful.

Diane: 1:01:22

Yeah, there was a lot, a lot of good times there.

Erin: 1:01:25

Well, and in the face of such tragedy, you have to focus. You don't have to. It's a choice, right, but you guys chose to focus on the good and the making memories and finding those moments that we're going to get you through to the next hour of the day, the next half of the day. That is really beautiful. I did write down what you said because it resonated with me that happiness comes from circumstances and joy comes from within. So, Kellie, thanks for bringing that full circle. That was a really beautiful thing. Remind me, Diane, how old Slate and Izzy were when they were diagnosed...

Diane: 1:02:26

18 and 24

Erin: 1:02:26

and did they find comfort in each other?

Diane: 1:02:27

Oh, absolutely!

Erin: 1:02:28

... and obviously being able to relate to each other in such a profound way that very few siblings would get to experience, right, walking that road simultaneously.

Diane: 1:02:40

They spent a ton of time together and Slate, when he was diagnosed before Isabelle was, he just told me, "I thought I was going to get to take this one. He thought he was going to be the one to do it instead of her and I don't know if he got sick so that she would have that season with him. It doesn't make any sense. I'm not going to ask the Lord why in a bad way, I just want to know what that was about. Was that so that she would have absolute soulmate in the journey? Sure, I feel like that's what they were. It was a cool season in a lot of ways.

Erin: 1:03:09

I would love to know how Slate navigated the loss of both of his little sisters and what that has looked like for him in his life now having lost both of his younger sisters

Kellie: 1:03:23

and now becoming a dad

Erin: 1:03:25

to a little girl.

Diane: 1:03:27

It was interesting when he, you know, he was always that father figure to both of them and so I think he felt I don't know if it was really guilty but just so devastated that he couldn't stop it, just like I felt, and he was really close with his sisters. I think that's why I mean, that's what happens when your dad is sick, I think. But it was interesting when his wife got pregnant recently. Wife got pregnant recently and they found out it was a girl and he was. So he totally said I wanted a boy.

Diane: 1:03:56

I'm like, "don't say that he's like mom, not for real, like normal reasons. I just know they're gonna look just like one of my sisters. My heart can't take it. That killed me. And I mean they gave birth to a blonde haired, blue eyed girl, just like his sister, and she looks so much like Isabel. It's an interesting journey but, yeah, he wanted to guard his heart because he knows, you know, and I think everything changes when you have your own child and you've watched something happen like this and you're just like that's unbelievable. So you just have to learn to trust the Lord even more when you have kids, don't you?

Kellie: 1:04:31

Yes, there is so much that is out of your control.

Diane: 1:04:34

Oh my word.

Kellie: 1:04:35

And none of them come with an owner's manual.

Diane: 1:04:37

For sure None of them follow the same

Diane: 1:04:40

instructions either.

Erin: 1:04:42

I would love for us to connect with Slate.

Diane: 1:04:45

Oh, he's awesome.

Diane: 1:04:46

He would totally do it and continue that conversation. It's a great idea.

Kellie: 1:04:49

It'd be a great part two of this conversation today.

Diane: 1:04:53

Awesome, yeah, it would.

Erin: 1:04:54

That'd be really extraordinary. Again, like I told you before, you speak so beautifully and so eloquently about your journey and about these losses and I just I thank you, I really thank you for sharing so much of your heart.

Diane: 1:05:14

It's an honor. Thanks for wanting to reach out. I appreciate it.

Erin: 1:05:18

You know so much of what we're doing here right and talking about life and love and loss and legacy, and when Kellie and I had this vision of this podcast and what we wanted to do and thinking about who we wanted to talk to, you hit the top of our lists independently, individually, without conversation. It warms my heart that you were open and willing, and so I just want to thank you so much.

Diane: 1:05:49

You're welcome.

Kellie: 1:05:57

think, too, because of our own journey, we have prioritized and I think it's just who we are as human beings some of the losses and traumas that we had in our early childhood having a mother who was diagnosed with cancer when we were very young Erin was just four or five years old and I really became quite the caretaker as a teenager and then everything that's transpired in our lives since then. We wanted this to actually Diane, be a place of hope and healing. We wanted the PIG to reflect what we know is possible through navigating this journey, having a strong faith and belief system, doing it in connection and community with other people and just bringing that to the forefront so we could have conversations about loss and grief and loss in all of its forms. It's not just death. It's so many things that we can lose while we're living that we don't necessarily always recognize or acknowledge as a loss. But they come with their own unique set of circumstances, their own aspects of grief, and navigating that by ourselves or with other people creates this living legacy and who we are and who people remember us as, because the one thing we know with certainty is that none of us make it out of this alive. We all eventually go home.

Kellie: 1:07:21

One thing that I would really like to do as we close today's conversation is celebrate you as a mother. We're recording this episode 12 days before Mother's Day, and you are the epitome of what it means to be a mom. You have walked so many different journeys as a mother, and your mothering does not stop with the children that you brought into the world and two that you've ushered out, but all of these children that you are caring for and nurturing and loving and helping find homes three in your own home, in a different country, in a different part of the world I think that that really deserves to be celebrated and honored, and so this Mother's Day, I'm holding an extra special place in my heart for you, because you really deserve it.

Diane: 1:08:16

Thank you so much. It is an honor. I enjoy everything that I get to do with these kids.

Kellie: 1:08:21

And with that you just wrote a chapter for a book that was recently published.

Diane: 1:08:28

I did. It's called Mothers Like Me. Yeah, my friend, Angie Green, put together a ministry called "Mothers Like Me and it's for moms who have lost children, and so she had each of us write a chapter of her book. So it's full of moms who have walked the road of losing children and it's an incredible story. Group of stories that I am honored to be a part of. That as well. Group of stories that I am honored to be a part of that as well.

Kellie: 1:08:51

Well, we will put links in the show notes and on the website for House of Hope, the Lum Project, mothers Like Me, and anything else that you want us to include. We'll include all of that...

Diane: 1:09:02

Wonderful.

Kellie: 1:09:10

And we encourage everybody to go, really take some time and read and listen and support and help however you can in your own way for these incredible projects that you're pouring your heart and soul into.

Diane: 1:09:16

Well, it's the key. Getting through this life is pouring out to other people for sure. Well, great.

Erin: 1:09:22

Diane, if you could leave one message about living after loss, what would it be?

Diane: 1:09:29

key is spending time every morning in the word drinking at the well, whether it's five minutes or three hours, it will change your day. It changes who you are as a mom, it changes who you are as a wife, and it's this power source that has gotten me where I am today, and I cannot say enough about the need to go there and drink every morning. I cannot say enough about the need to go there and drink every morning. It's the greatest part of what I learned in all of this loss is to truly rely and to listen every day to the Holy Spirit and to be able to act on what the Holy Spirit puts in your heart and how it guides you and leads you and gives you wisdom. And I cannot say enough about the time you spend in the Word is the best investment.

Erin: 1:10:14

Thank you for that. Do you have any other final thoughts or reflections or anything that you would like to share about your journey with our listeners?

Diane: 1:10:22

I think so many people in the world are hurting and so many people have really hard things. In fact, almost everybody has some hard, just looks different. So I think for me, looking outward,

Erin: 1:10:33

At the end of our interviews- what their PIG is, and I would really love to hear from you.

Erin: 1:10:57

But I'm going to give you a little prompt, because I have heard you use the word perspective several times throughout this conversation and it's been really eye-op opening for me personally, it is really remarkable how the different events of your life have shifted your perspective, and so I don't know if perspective is your P word or you can make it that, but if you have anything, whether it's a P word, an I word, a G word, two of the three, all three, whatever you would like to share, we would love to hear it.

Diane: 1:11:36

You know for sure, perspective is a huge part and one of the things I've heard once that has stuck with me so much over all these years is I live my life with a peculiar passion and perspective that only death can bring.

Diane: 1:11:50

And you know, that's where I am, because people don't understand the decisions I make and the things I do and look at me like how are you doing that? But I'm like you don't understand where I've walked to get to this place. And you can't just learn that without the suffering, because God whispers in the good days but he screams with a megaphone in the suffering and I've had megaphone in my ear for years and that just changes who you are and the I would be impact. I'm big on what I've seen and who I've lost and how they've gone forward and I better make this life count because I'm still here and legacy is something I think about often. And then my G would be grace, because I've had to ask for grace so many times from the Lord and I've had to give grace along the way when I've been hurting. I think grace has a huge place in my heart and in my life.

Erin: 1:12:40

That is so beautiful Perspective, impact and grace. Thank you.

Diane: 1:12:46

You're welcome. Thanks for making me think.

Kellie: 1:12:51

I can't think of a better way to close our time together today. Diane, thank you so much for the gift of who you are in this world and the gift of your time to share your story and spend time with Erin and I today on the PIG. This was a powerful conversation and we are deeply grateful. This was a powerful conversation and we are deeply grateful.

Kellie: 1:13:14

Perspective impact grace. We invite you to sit with today's conversation to reflect on your own story of life, love, loss and what legacy you're building even in the midst of it.

Kellie: 1:13:27

To learn more about Diane's work, including House of Hope, the Lum Project, gifts of Hope and her story in Mothers Like Me. You'll find all the links and details in the show notes below. And if this episode touched your heart, please share it with someone who might need to hear it. And since we couldn't be here without you, we invite you to subscribe, leave a five-star rating and review and learn how to join our growing community at thepigpodcastcom, because this isn't just a podcast. It's a place to be reminded. Even in loss, hope truly does live on. Until next time. Hogs and kisses, everyone!