Our Relationship Reset: How Self-Awareness Healed What History Couldn’t (Part One)

What if the thing holding you back in your relationships isn’t what you say or do—but how you’re wired to show up?

In this two-part series, we’re joined by our coach and mentor, Marcus Straub, for an unfiltered, real-time look at what happens when two sisters bring self-awareness, honesty, and raw vulnerability into the heart of family disconnect. Together, we unpack our live DISC comparison report—revealing how our natural communication styles, pacing, and decision-making have shaped decades of misunderstanding, growth, and rediscovery.

In this first half, we explore:

• What DISC really measures and why it matters
• How self-awareness transforms communication and conflict
• The surprising “pressure behaviors” that appear when stress hits
• Why multitasking is a myth and single-focus work builds trust
• How small awareness shifts create real connection and repair

This episode also marks the official launch of The P-I-G Relationship Reset—a deeply transformative and personalized coaching experience for siblings, couples, partners, family and step-family members, close friends, or anyone ready to bridge disconnects, embrace differences, and strengthen connection—all guided by the spirit of Purpose, Intention & Gratitude.

Because real growth doesn’t happen when we get perfect.
It happens when we get real.

Chapters

• 1:35 Welcome to The P-I-G + Introduction to Marcus Straub
• 6:48 What DISC Really Measures and Why It Matters
• 14:22 Where Sisters Align (and Where They Clash)
• 25:18 Pace, Change, and Decision-Making
• 33:55 The Multitasking Myth
• 42:40 Understanding Pressure Behaviors & Other's Perceptions
• 55:10 Communication That Keeps Ears Open
• 1:12:30 What Shuts Us Down Fast
• 1:24:20 Celebrating Strengths and Role Clarity
• 1:36:10 From Awareness to Practical Application
• 1:36:19 From Insight To Everyday Practice
• 1:50:30 Preview of Part Two: Driving Forces and Integration
• 1:56:00 Closing Reflections + The Relationship Reset Launch

Transcript

SPEAKER_03: 0:03

What if the thing holding you back in your relationships isn't what you say or do, but how you're wired to show up? And what if you discovered a personal owner's manual that could change everything? In this episode, we're back with Marcus, not as my brother-in-law and Kelly's husband, but as our coach and mentor to explore what happens when you bring self-awareness and honesty into the heart of family disconnect.

SPEAKER_04: 0:26

In this two-part series, we're pulling back the curtain on conversations that will change the way you see yourself and those around you. Together, we're diving into the powerful tool that helps us discover ourselves and each other to reset our relationship as sisters. We laugh, cry, and explore communication and conflict with compassion and curiosity. Because real growth doesn't happen when we get perfect.

SPEAKER_03: 0:50

It happens when we get real. So whether you're navigating family dynamics, marriage, parenting, or simply trying to understand yourself better, grab a journal and prepare for insights and moments of, oh wow, that's me. This is a journey you don't want to miss.

SPEAKER_04: 1:05

Welcome to the PIG, where we share inspirational stories through real conversations with real people, where Kelly and Erin, sisters, best friends, sometimes colour opposites, but always deeply connected by the life and love of our mother Marsha, the one who taught us that the greatest lessons we have to teach others are the very ones we must also learn ourselves.

SPEAKER_03: 1:32

Welcome back, everyone. Today's episode is a little out of the norm and one of the most meaningful we've ever recorded because of what it's meant to and for our relationship. If you've been with us for a while, you already know Marcus, my brother-in-law, Kelly's partner in life, and a world-class coach and mentor who's been walking alongside me and Kelly for nearly 16 years, but especially over this past year of our healing and reconnection. Marcus, you haven't just supported us. You've been instrumental in helping us find our way back to each other. But today, you're here as our coach.

SPEAKER_04: 2:08

And over the next two episodes, we're doing something raw, real, and completely unscripted. We're taking a live deep dive into our relationship comparison report built from the assessment work we've been doing together. In this first part, we're pulling back the curtain on our disc profiles and sharing what it really looks like to use these tools to understand who we are, how we're wired, how we communicate, and how the two of us were finally able to rebuild an authentic relationship and connection after years of misunderstanding, after sweeping all the crumbs of our relationship under the rug because we were too afraid that lifting it up and looking underneath might drive us even farther apart. This episode will be longer than most, but we know it will be filled with honesty, laughter, vulnerability, and probably a few moments that sound a little too familiar to our listeners because this type of work touches every relationship, both personal and professional. And it also changes how we look at ourselves in the mirror. It's also the first time we're sharing the release of something brand new, the PIG Relationship Reset, a guided experience designed to help others and the people they love move from reaction to real lasting connection through live coaching with you.

SPEAKER_03: 3:38

So, Marcus, welcome back to the PIG. We're turning the mic over to you so we can jump right into these assessment tools and explore what's possible when we invest in truly understanding ourselves and take the time to really begin understanding each other.

SPEAKER_00: 3:55

Well, it's my pleasure to be back with the two of you. You know, I've the show is just uh podcast is really doing wonderfully well. It's what what guests you've had on, you know, what areas you have traveled with these people and their lives and the the joys, the ups, the downs, the all-arounds. My goodness, what a show you've put on. And you know, every time I get to be on with you guys, it's so much fun. Just to just to interact with you, do anything we can to help the people in the world who are tuning in and taking part in the PIG. And today's no different, you know. Today we're going to talk about you two, your relationship that really has ignited once again through this whole entire project. You guys have spoken about this multiple times on multiple episodes, about how, you know, really what your mother gave you wasn't the boxes so much as it was each other and the rediscovering of each other and your relationship and what it means and what it can be for you going forward. And to be able to sit with you today, to talk about the similarities, the differences, to expose you even deeper to who you are individually and collectively is a very exciting prospect on my end. So I'm I'm happy to be here and I'm happy to be working with the two of you today. And as we start out, I think what I'd like to do is just really let the listeners know we're gonna be really focusing on two different kinds of assessments today. One is called a disk assessment. All disk assessments are not equal. There are good ones and there are not good ones. We are working with a very good one, by the way. And what we're gonna be doing is we're talking about behavioral tendencies here. So we measure four different aspects of a human being, and we are really looking at what are their tendencies based upon what their scores are and how they listen, how they behave, how they perform work, how they adapt themselves to their work environment, to different relationships, etc. We're also gonna be talking about driving forces. Now, driving forces is an assessment that measures your values. What do you value most out of a total of 12 different assessments? There are primary driving forces that really move you into action, that cause you to make the decisions that you do. Um, they're really like a breaker box on the side of your house. The breakers are always on, the power is always flowing through those primary driving forces. There are situational driving forces, meaning that in certain situations they'll click on, certain situations they'll click off. And then there's in different driving forces in which the power really never flows through those for you, but they may for another person and they may for your sister. And so being able to understand what is it that drives us, what is it that leads our behavior? What is it that drives us forward to do what we do in our lives and in our work? And that's really what we're going to be talking about today. So I guess what we should do is we would just say, Aaron, let me just ask you this. When you took this assessment originally, what kind of an experience did you have?

SPEAKER_03: 6:36

Oh, I had an incredibly insightful. There were aspects of it that were even overwhelming experience, but all in a good way. It was so incredible for me to actually put some verbiage to who I am and how I operate in this world instead of just trying to figure it out, but to actually then have some some words that describe me that told me who I am and how I operate. And it was just incredibly insightful. And so then having that information then for Kelly to have, for you to have, for Jason to have, to understand who I am and what makes me tick and how I respond and so many of my behavioral things is incredible. But more so than that for me was to have a deeper understanding of myself for myself.

SPEAKER_00: 7:37

Very nice. Very nice. Kelly, you've been involved with these assessments for quite some time now, and you've had your own outside of any work with me, and then your own with uh since we've been married. So, you know, what's your what's your feeling about these assessments? What's it, what's it your experience been?

SPEAKER_04: 7:54

Oh, I have such an incredible passion for the information that's contained in black and white and color on these pages, and how echoing what Aaron said, the words that jump off the page that you can identify with, and even the words that you can't identify with, that you can work with somebody like yourself to say, what does that really mean? You know, how do I process that? How do I integrate that? So often, you know, especially I think as human beings, we associate meaning with certain words. And one of the things that I've found through this process is that it that has expanded my understanding of what different words actually mean, and that they mean something different to different people from different perspectives and also based on lived experiences. And so, yes, it's been about 25 years now since I took my very first disc assessment and have continued to utilize this information through the years. I'm also amazed at how when you go through critical life experiences, which is something we talk about a lot on the PIG, loss, trauma, disease, illness, all kinds of things, that can actually change not only your behavioral style, but also your value systems and your value sets. And so being able to revisit this continually through the years has been very powerful. I will also speak to the fact, outside of just Erin and I and the reconnection and the beautiful experiences we've had that have come through this work, that you and I use these as functional tools in our every day-to-day life and living. It is part of our communication, it's part of our vocabulary, part of our relationship with our children already with our young grandchild. And so I find these assessments to be the owner's manual that I think every human being should have for themselves. And that's what I love about them so much.

SPEAKER_00: 10:03

They are quite powerful. And you know, it's it's such a wonderful thing to be able to have this snapshot right now, right? So, like you said, things change in our life, both positive and negative. And in the PIG, we cover a lot of territory where people have really had to overcome a lot of challenges. You guys have had to overcome a lot of challenges. You also speak to some of the great times in your life, some of the great aspects of your relationship. These things re-mold us too and can actually cause our disk and driving forces to recalibrate over the years. Mine have done so as well. So, as we start out here, I think let's just start with disk a little bit. I think what I'd like to do is I would just like to be able to um have everybody maybe when they listen to this, look at page four. This is where we're going to start in the comparison report is page four, where we're actually taking and we're comparing Aaron and Kelly side by side in their disk. And I just want to talk a little bit about what we're seeing here. So basically, disk is a four-aspect assessment in which we're measuring how do you solve problems and challenges, how do you influence other people, what is your pace and your consistency, and how attentive to you are you to details, rules, policies, procedures? How conscientious and compliant are you, in other words? So we call those D I S and C for driver, influencer, steady, and conscientious or compliant. D I S C driver, steady, influencer, steady, confident, conscientious and compliant. When we look at your guys' graph right out of the gate, we see that there's some similarities and some differences. You know, at the 50-point mark, that that dark gray mark at the middle of the assessment, we can see that both of you cross over that with your influencer and with your steady, that part of you that really loves other people, that loves relationships, that is relationship and people-oriented first is what stands tall in your graph. And what is down below the energy line, that 50-point mark, is your driver and your conscientious compliant, that task-oriented part of you. So, right off the gate, we know that the two of you are people-oriented, relationship-oriented. You guys are influencers first and foremost. And you also have the steady component inside of you, this other part of you that's very supportive of other people, consistent pace, um, not super big on a lot of change unless you understand what the change is or it's meaningful change. And then we see down below the line that that driver, that decider, that aggressive, dominant, competitive part of you is lower, and that detail-oriented, conscious, compliant part of yourself is lower. But there's benefits to those too. So no matter which side you are, high or low above that line, there are positives and negatives depending on how aware we are and how we regulate the tendencies in those aspects of ourselves. Right out of the gate, we can see that Aaron, you stand very tall with your eye at a 90, uh 86. Naturally, that's who you are at home with Jason and the boys. And you jump that up to a 92 when you go to work. So when you go out into the world and you have to do what you do for a living, you're jumping that eye up, you're lifting it by about six points. Not significant, but enough to say that you are lifting that up. So you become even more interactive when you go to work. And your steadiness, that consistent part of you, that pace, the pace that you carry is slower at home than it is at work by six points again. So at home, you're an 88S and you're an 82s at work. So you're actually picking up your pace a little bit more in order to keep pace with the flow of work that you're likely experiencing at work. So you don't fall behind. And when you go back home, you can relax, shake it out, and just fall back into your natural style at 88 and relax with Jason and the boys.

SPEAKER_03: 13:46

That sounds extremely accurate. Nailed it.

SPEAKER_00: 13:53

And Kelly, when we look at you, your eye stands very tall above the energy line. You know, you come in at a 94 at home, a 92 when you do your business. So, pretty much two points, not much of a difference there. You're just very much an influencer, a promoter. You really like to connect people, interact with people, and work with people on an ongoing basis. You love you light up when somebody calls you or sends you a text message because you get to interact with them with Lily calls or whatever. It's fun to watch that. And Aaron, I know you do the same thing because of the score that you have and the person that you are. And then Kelly, your pace is faster than your sister's. So this is a little, this is one area where they align and where they don't quite align. So they both are high I's alignment. They both are high S's, but Aaron's S is so much higher than Kelly's at 88 naturally, Kelly's being 60 naturally. That's 26 point difference. Very close to the energy line for Kelly, far above it for Aaron. That means that Aaron is more change resistant than Kelly is, in all likelihood. It also means that Kelly moves at a faster pace than Aaron. She processes faster, walks faster, moves faster, talks faster, works faster. It's just faster. So I would imagine, and you guys can share with your listeners right here. Are there times where sometimes you feel like it's tough to keep up with pace, Aaron? Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 15:16

Like every day. Giddy up, sister. Let's go. I'm like, man, stop rushing me.

SPEAKER_00: 15:28

So well put, so well put. I mean, that's exactly what a typical high IS thinks. Stop pushing me, stop rushing me, stop pushing me. And and so this is an area where you two have had to work together and can continue to work together in order to equalize that out. Because sometimes maybe Erin needs to pick up the pace a little bit. Sometimes Kelly can take her foot off the gas pedal and slow the pace down a little bit. And really, what the objective is is when there's a difference between two people and their behavioral style, is to find a way to bridge the gap, to walk towards each other, to move towards each other in your style and to see where can we meet somewhere in the middle? Not an exact point, not exactly 50-50, but where can you meet somewhere in the middle? And whenever we do that, it works better. Have you guys noticed that as you have worked on this in your relationship and your work together, that this has actually gotten easier and better because you've talked about it and you've intentionally worked on this difference within yourselves?

SPEAKER_03: 16:24

Oh, yeah, 100% for me. And I think again, going back to what we were talking about before with your first question, was simply drawing awareness to it and knowing that that's what our differences are. And it's not just Kelly being the bossy older sister necessarily. But I would I would say that I think that working with you and having knowledge of these assessments is part of what's allowed us to get to this point in our relationship, and not just personally, but then professionally and working on this podcast because we've worked together in the past before, as you know, but there was so much disconnect and knocking of heads and certain things because I just didn't understand myself and I didn't understand Kelly the way that I do now. And so I was resistant to so much of that. Whereas now having the knowledge and understanding that I do, I'm able to see it for what it is and have a deeper understanding of it. And it allows me that time to just take a deep breath and understand, or even think about okay, based on what I know about my sister and who she is and how she operates in this world, she probably didn't mean to hurt my feelings, or she probably didn't necessarily mean this, that, or the other thing that way. And so it's just a really, I just cannot emphasize enough how powerful these assessments are in just learning so much about each other, but how deeply it has impacted this phase of our lives and being able to do this work together in such a profound way, we wouldn't have had, I don't think, the ability to work quite the way that we do now before really understanding each other on a deeper level the way that we do.

SPEAKER_00: 18:28

That's exactly what we're hoping for with these assessments. And when you work with them, is that instead of taking another person's behavioral style, which is different than yours personally, it's understanding it and knowing, well, that's probably why my sister did that. So I can just talk to her about that and we can work through that together, as opposed to, like you said, being hurt by it or taking it personally. That's one of the things we want to do with this kind of information is clear the playing field so that people can have better relationships without their old assumptions, their old biases in the mix. Here's what it really is, everybody. Now let's play.

SPEAKER_04: 19:00

Yeah. How about you, Kelly? For me, it's the clarity, right? Which is what you just described so eloquently. And taking that clarity and then knowing how to either modify my own behavior to meet your behavioral style or somebody else's, or to speak your behavioral language instead of mine. That takes time and practice. Um, and it takes utilizing and seeing these assessments as functional tools. Marcus and I talk a lot about that. And I really hope he'll share the importance of that as we go. But I unequivocally believe that going through this assessment work with you today, because we have done this assessment work together in years past in different businesses, but we have never had it brought to light and turned it into that true tool like Marcus has helped us do. And because of that, it has allowed us to bridge gaps that before I think that we, as we've talked about in other episodes, we would have misunderstandings or misinterpret or miscommunicate. We'd have hurt feelings. And instead of hitting it head on, because we had the language and the tools and the ability and the respect for one another to do that, we would just sweep it under the rug. And then we'd have all these crumbs underneath the rug that at some point would all, you know, the rug would get lifted up and oh shit, we gotta, you know, deal with all of those crumbs. But the assessments have allowed us to really approach each other in ways that I think just are so beautiful. I want this for every set of siblings, every family relationship ever. I think everybody needs to do this because it's just so powerful.

SPEAKER_03: 21:01

I agree completely.

SPEAKER_00: 21:03

Certainly a lot of potential here. People are open to it and willing to put in the work, you know. And it's not that hard, right? You just have to be willing to talk and explore yourself and be open and honest and vulnerable, and then just work to use what you've learned to turn it into that functional tool that Kelly's talking about, where you take this information that's in words and in graphs and in colors, and you take it and you internalize it and you make it a part of your makeup, how you live your life every day with this knowledge of yourself, with this knowledge of others, so that then it actually helps you. It's just another thing that you have as a human being to help you navigate life, relationships, and business in the very best way that you can. It's a more of a roadmap than you had before.

SPEAKER_04: 21:44

Would it be fun for us to read these behavioral characteristics?

SPEAKER_00: 21:48

Oh, it really would. I think that I'd love to have Kelly read Aaron's and Aaron to read Kelly's, because I think there's a lot here, you know, because Kelly, you lead with your I naturally and adaptively. Aaron, you lead with your S naturally and you lead with your I adaptively. So you switch. So we're gonna get to hear Aaron's S and Kelly's I. And this is where they are different, and this is what we want to understand about them. So, yes, please, one of you read the others' information for everybody listening.

SPEAKER_03: 22:17

You want me to start? Go first, little sister. Okay, perfect. Kelly is good at fostering enthusiasm in others. She believes in getting results through other people, she prefers the team approach, she tries to influence others through a personal relationship and many times will perform services to develop this relationship. She is approachable, affectionate, and understanding. Kelly projects a self-assured and self-confident image. She places her focus on people. To her, strangers are just friends she hasn't met. She likes quality social relationships. She often will become friends with her customers or clients. She can be obliging and accommodating. That is, she likes to work with people and help them. Kelly is most likely to be at her best in situations where important things such as values, judgments, feelings, and emotions are involved. She prides herself on her intuition. She is optimistic and usually has a positive sense of humor.

SPEAKER_00: 23:22

Well done. Now now, Kelly, first and foremost, does that sound like you to you?

SPEAKER_04: 23:26

Oh, a thousand percent.

SPEAKER_00: 23:28

Erin, does that sound like your sister?

SPEAKER_04: 23:31

It does.

SPEAKER_00: 23:31

I know, right? I think it's I don't I couldn't pick up one thing in there looking at that that I said, well, I just don't think that's true about her. All of those tendencies are absolutely in her every single day.

SPEAKER_04: 23:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:43

Well done.

SPEAKER_04: 23:44

I completely concur.

SPEAKER_00: 23:47

All right, Kelly, you want to read Erin's?

SPEAKER_04: 23:49

Absolutely. Erin is family-oriented, she may go to great lengths to ensure the happiness of her personal and work family. When the time is right, Erin can stand up aggressively for what she believes. She requires many good reasons as well as the benefits involved before agreeing to make changes. When people are involved, she may not always be precise about the use of her time. Erin wins through hard work and persistence. She likes to focus on one task until it is completed. She doesn't resist change as much as she resists being changed. She needs to be an active participant in situations that will impact her work. She likes to win through persistence. She uses her strong, steady tendencies to accomplish her goals. She wants to be seen as a responsible person and will avoid behavior that could be seen by others as irresponsible. Erin looks to people for support and inner satisfaction as a way to reach her personal goals. At times, Erin would like to slow the world down and cut out some of the activities people want her involved in.

SPEAKER_00: 25:04

Thank you. Thank you. Erin, does that sound like the person you know yourself to be?

SPEAKER_04: 25:08

Nailed it. Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_00: 25:11

Kelly, is that your sister?

SPEAKER_04: 25:13

It really is. There's so many beautiful things in there that are unequivocally, Aaron.

SPEAKER_00: 25:20

Yeah, I agree. And it's you know so interesting because you know, Aaron has her S, her I and her S so close together, 88, 86. And yet this is what came out, you know, even with all that I in there, like you have, Kelly, and that little bit of S that you have, so different. You guys lead with your behavioral style so very differently. And this is what is really wonderful about this, because you guys can counterbalance each other in your behavioral style, and you can also build those bridges and connect somewhere in the middle towards each other and overcome any differences you have. You really have every tool available to you right now in form of your behavior to actually be able to bridge any gaps and really have a very smooth, pleasant, wonderful relationship because you're both very wonderful people.

SPEAKER_04: 26:05

I think one of the things that really jumped out to me, Marcus, in this, if I can speak to a couple things real quick. Absolutely. Even as I was just reading this, even though I know this about Erin, it's this is why keeping these at the forefront and revisiting them often, I leave mine on my desk, but having each other's in a place where we can go back and revisit them is so important. Because as I was reading that, um, I went to the line where it says, Oh, she likes to focus on one task until it is completed. And I have a tendency to throw five, eight, twelve tasks out at Erin that need to get done because they're looming in my head and my brain as tasks that need to get done. And I know we're gonna get to the task-oriented part of both of us in a bit, but that's a really good reminder to me to be more aware of just focusing on the main thing and keeping the main thing the main thing. Let's get the main thing done so we can move on to the other 12 main things that I have prioritized in my head.

SPEAKER_00: 27:19

That's a really good point. It's also an opportunity for Erin to be able to say, hey, sis, can we just focus on the most important thing right now? And then she, you guys can prioritize that together. There's that crossing, building that bridge to connect somewhere in the middle. And you guys figure out, okay, what's the top priority? Let's do that one, then the next one, then the next one. And eventually you're gonna get them all. You're right. You're exactly right, sweetheart.

SPEAKER_03: 27:39

Yeah, that's awesome. I that one jumped out at me as well. Um, I have known this about myself now fairly recently, but I think that it is kind of this common misconception, I think, that especially as a woman, people tend to kind of make this generalized statement or assumption that women are better multitaskers than men. That's something that I've heard in my life. So I've always felt like I had to fall into that category. I was falling short if I wasn't good at multitasking, when the reality is I'm just not a good multitasker. And now that I know that about myself, I'm like, yeah, I'm not a good multitasker. I can just own it and and understand about myself that I do like to focus on one thing until it's completed and then I will move on to the next task. And if I'm given the ability to do that, I'm actually more productive and I do get more done if I can just focus on one thing and get it knocked out, and then focus on another thing and get it knocked out. And I'm like that at home, I'm like that at work, and I'm certainly like that in tasks related to the production and promotion of this podcast.

SPEAKER_04: 29:01

And I I also recognize it and appreciate it because we know that context switching, which is adding multiple tasks to one's plate, not only decreases your IQ, but also your brain power to get anything done. And so it's actually something, Erin, that I really admire about you and I am constantly trying to work on in myself. And so just reading this today side by side, revisiting it again, just brought that to the forefront for me. Number one, something that I can do to meet you behaviorally where you're at, and something that I can continue to work on in myself. And if we both work on it together, we just become more powerful, more successful, more confident, more assured. Um, it it's just a really great thing. So thank you for letting me use that as an example, of course.

SPEAKER_00: 29:58

And what a liberating insight! Right, to think that you should, Aaron, should be a good multitasker. When in fact, like Kelly's saying, really most people aren't very good multitaskers. There's a few people in the world that are pretty good at it, but the vast majority of us, we are not good at it. And it breaks us down over time. So for you to give yourself permission, hey, if there are instances where I kind of have to juggle a couple balls here and there, okay, but that's not how I want to live my life. That's counter to who I am, that's counter to my strengths, and that takes away from who I am and limits me as a person, could even hurt me over time through stress and overwhelm. That's a pretty liberating insight.

SPEAKER_03: 30:34

Yeah, that sure is. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_00: 31:22

Remember, anything that's above the energy line, the 50-point mark is high. Anything that's below is low. That doesn't mean good or bad. It's just a demarcation we use to talk about the tendencies in this dimension. And the first thing that stands out there is that we see that there's a big difference between the driver or dominant, the D in the disc, between the two of you. Aaron, you are a 14 D at home and a seven at work. So you're a low D at home, very cautious, not somebody who does not like to make decisions. And if you do, they are cautious decisions. You're not, it's not an aggressive thing for you. It's very much more cautious and passive, if you will. When you go to work, it doubles that. It gets to seven, right? So it's much more passive. And then Kelly, at home, you're a 42 just below the energy line, and you're a 38 when you go into your working environment. So we can see that even though your D is not above the energy line, it's not a high behavioral mark. It still is much more powerful than Aaron's. And so when we look at your graphs and we take the I that is so similar between the two of you, and then we take the S, which changes, Kelly's is lower, Aaron's is higher, and then we go down below the energy line to task and we pick up the D, Kelly's D is higher, and Aaron's is lower. So D's move at a very fast pace. The lower the S, the faster the pace. So when we talked about pace earlier, look at how this gets even more complex and helps to understand, helps us to understand even more. Kelly's pace is much faster than yours, Aaron, because her S is lower and her D is higher. What we're trying to do is we're trying to show you that other dimensions that are below the line really come into effect, the dimensions that are above and create a bigger, more comprehensive picture for us. If we go over to the C, you guys have a lot more in common here. Aaron, you are a 28 naturally. Kelly, you're an 18. And Kelly, you're an eight naturally and adaptive. You and I are both down there in the sub-10 category. I think I'm an eight naturally and a six adaptively. And basically, what this means is both of you can be outside the box thinkers. Aaron has a little bit more attention to detail in some things. Although remember, these tendencies can be overridden over time. So sometimes we learn that it's better to be a little more organized, even though we don't show up that way on a report. And we're managing, we're regulating that negative tendency that we have there. And so with this one, you guys don't aren't very super different on your C or your I, but your D and your S, you are. And that's really where the biggest plays come in between the two of you from the perspective that I have of your assessment. Would you guys agree?

SPEAKER_03: 33:55

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 33:57

Pace, aggressiveness, uh risk taking, things like that, you know.

SPEAKER_04: 34:01

What are some examples, Marcus, as you look at the two of us as sisters, that you where you see that playing out in our relationship?

SPEAKER_00: 34:11

Well, as you're currently built, um, I think it's fair to say that Kelly, you've pretty much been a more of an entrepreneur your whole life. You know, you've kind of jumped out there, you've done entrepreneurial things, you've taken on entrepreneurial aspects of your life, jumped into new different business opportunities and ideas. And Erin's kind of followed some of that. So she's followed along with some of those things. You've been more willing to sort of spearhead it and lead the charge, take the risk. And she said, Yeah, I'll go along with you. That's more of that S that's going along with the D that's leading the charge. That's a really good example of that.

SPEAKER_04: 34:44

Yes. And we just had a conversation about that, Erin, with Chris on the last podcast episode, the hot seed episode. We that very, very thing. We talked about how that created a lot of the disconnect and how we've utilized all this information to communicate our way through and back to discover what that disconnect was. And even just acknowledging it and becoming aware of it completely changes how you view that in your relationship. You just accept it, you acknowledge it, come back together and move on, right? And keep building forward from there. Yes, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00: 35:24

And I think, you know, if we just took a page five of ours of your guys' assessment, we can see that you guys are so similar, but you are a little bit different. It's just another way of helping to expose you to this information. You know, we've got this wheel instead of this graph, this bar graph that we were looking at. Now we're looking at a wheel because some people see wheels better. And look at where your your arrows are arrows and your circles fall. So, Aaron, you're blue, your blue circle is in 17 quadrant, and your star, your adaptive star, is in your 16th quadrant. Kelly, you're red, and both your star and your circle live in your 15th quadrant. And that is just across the line from each other, basically, a very thin dividing line between the two of you. Whereas Kelly shows up as more of a pure I, Aaron shows up more as a true blend of I and S. And we get two different distinctions about you. So it really comes out to share that Aaron looks to be more of a relator, and Kelly looks to be more of a promoter. And if we look at the relator, Aaron, customer focused, networker, team player is the three descriptors that we offer there. Kelly for promoter, optimistic outlook, diversity seeker, and people problems. I could not agree with those more. I mean, seriously, those three descriptors nail you guys.

SPEAKER_03: 36:42

Yeah, they really do.

SPEAKER_00: 36:43

You have any thoughts here?

SPEAKER_03: 36:45

I just I agree with you. I think that it's again going back to what I said before, just having the confirmation, if nothing else, that this is who you are and it's okay, is really incredible. And then again, just understanding myself more, understanding Kelly better, and understanding what our strengths are, and then how we can build upon those, and then what our weaknesses are and how how to come together and overcome that. How do how do we work best together in this line of work based on who we are?

SPEAKER_00: 37:22

Yeah, absolutely. Kelly, anything?

SPEAKER_04: 37:26

I'm a promoter, so I'm gonna promote Aaron and relate to her and tell her that everything that she said is absolutely amazing, and I agree with it all.

SPEAKER_03: 37:37

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00: 37:39

It's good to have fun.

SPEAKER_03: 37:40

It's true. It's true.

SPEAKER_00: 37:42

Hey, we're dealing with three eyes here, right? I leaved with my I too. So Kelly's an I S. Aaron, you're an S I, and I'm an I D. So we got three I's in the room. We all like to have fun and laugh. I think that's pretty apparent whenever we get on air, too. All right. So if we go a little further now, we can go to page six of your assessment. And what we're looking at here is basically your natural graph side by side, but not using numbers, instead, using descriptive words to describe your level in that graph itself. And we start off with the dominance category. This is the decision-making, problem-solving aspect of a human being. How do you solve problems and challenges? And we can see that on the left-hand side, ET stands for Aaron Thomas. You go down to modest, okay? You're way down at modest, and Kelly is all the way up above cooperative into calculating. Both of you are cautious decision makers, but Aaron, you're you appear to be much more cautious. And when you go to work, you go down to peaceful, you go down again one step lower and get even more cautious in your decision making. Not good, bad, right, or wrong, unless it gets in the way of something that needs to be done. I'd imagine there are times you wish that you were maybe a little bit more decisive. And some people may have said, you know, just make a decision or something like that. I think Kelly feels sometimes she wishes she was a little more decisive too. At the same time, you guys are built this way for a reason because you believe that you need to be cautious in your decision making. And so there's nothing wrong here. This is just your tendency. And there are times when you guys can both come to the table and say, you know, do I have everything I need to make this decision? Am I okay if I make the decision and it doesn't play out well? And can I just encourage or challenge myself to make the decision a little sooner, a little stronger, if you need to? If you don't, just remain in your natural style. It seems to be what serves you.

SPEAKER_03: 39:34

You know what's so interesting and funny about this playing out in real life recently, is I feel like one of the areas where I know I'm indecisive. Kelly's probably gonna agree with this, is when we are titling our episodes and trying to figure out like the perfect name for what to title an episode so that it's relevant and makes people want to listen and all of the things. And it's so funny because we'll go back and forth and we'll text, like, what do you think of this? Here's some ideas, here's some ideas, and we'll go back and forth and back and forth. And just recently, Kelly sent me she doesn't know I'm gonna tell you this. But she sent me like a whole slew of ideas that she was thinking about. And I was like, Yep, like that one, yep, like that, don't like that. And then I caught myself in the moment, literally thinking to myself, oh, she's overthinking this. And I was like, hey pot, I'm Kettle. Like, like that is the story of my life, like overthinking everything. And so it was funny that I projected that onto her. Like in that moment, I was like, she's overthinking this. And I was like, oh man, I overthink everything all the time. And so it was a funny way that that played out recently, and we always we always come to an agreement, and we always it's it always works itself out, but it is funny how that plays out.

SPEAKER_00: 41:15

Indeed.

SPEAKER_04: 41:16

Well, hi Kettle, I'm Pot. E.T. stands for E.T. Phone Home, by the way, Marcus. We've been teasing Aaron about E.T. Phone Home since she was a little kid. Yeah. It was so funny. As soon as I saw ET on the screen, it made me laugh out loud a little bit. I have a question for you. This is a really fun um page for me. And every time we look at these behavioral descriptors and we get into how we uh break down under pressure too.

SPEAKER_02: 41:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 41:50

And I don't want to jump ahead to that, but I want to focus on this page. Before I had a critical life incident, which was going through a divorce and also losing our mother, I was an ID, and I was just fully an ID. If you look at who I was at that phase of my life, and looking at just this D category, I was more venturesome, decisive, competitive, determined, strong-willed, pioneering, ambitious. You know, I look at those words above the energy line on the dominance, and now where I am below the energy line on that, as my behavioral style flipped to IS. And so I would love to just hear your perspective on that because I still see some of that in me. I still feel some of that, but I do hold back because I think that there have been experiences in my life that have challenged me on a very personal and professional level to where I question myself and I don't necessarily always trust the decisions that I'm making. And so then I become more cautious in my decision making. So I'd I'd love to just explore that a little bit because I'm sure that people who are listening can relate to that switch, that change, and also how we approach our behaviors and our decision making when we have these experiences where we have to kind of just be honest with ourselves about where we find challenge.

SPEAKER_00: 43:28

Absolutely. I think that in all likelihood, your driving force is reconfigured at some of those different stages of your life, you know, with the dissolution of your marriage, your mother's passing away, uh, things that happened in the process of the dissolution of your marriage, some decisions that you made, how things worked out, some of the businesses you went into, and the outcomes of those businesses that you went into, you know, how people behave themselves and what the ultimate outcome was. And I think in the end, it was a combination of what you valued, you changed what you valued to some degree based upon your experiences. And also you learned behaviorally, I've been maybe a little too aggressive. Maybe I've just been so gung-ho, so strong-minded, so just I'm gonna do this no matter what. And it worked against me. And so maybe I should kind of back off a little bit and I should just slow it down and become a little more cautious and try to understand what I'm really thinking of doing and what the possible ramifications of that might be going forward better than I've ever done before, because I'm learning through my experience. So my feedback on that is that probably what happened is that through the experience, you had some stinging, biting experiences that taught you that I need to slow this down a little bit, think a little bit more before I respond more than react, and I'll have better outcomes. And that's what I think happened.

SPEAKER_04: 44:48

Well, I think that's very fair. I I also believe that having people that you trust in your life that you feel confident running those decisions by, and you feel like you have that safe, stable place to do that, especially as a high eye, because I'm so optimistic. Everything's gonna work out, everybody's telling me the truth, everybody has my best interests at heart. That's not always the case. Had to learn that the hard way.

SPEAKER_00: 45:17

Well said. Well said. And those kinds of experiences sting and they cause us to recalibrate as a human, right? Which I think is very intelligent because all it's saying is let me just be more cautious in how I do this. And you notice that you are calculating. So you're just under the energy line. You're parked right there where you just, I just want to calculate this a little bit more, analyze this a little bit more before I decide what I'm gonna do. That's a pretty healthy position to be in, used properly, understood properly, it really can be your best friend because what it'll do is it'll counterbalance your over-optimistic uh nature in your high eye and bring some balance to them so that you still remain optimistic, but you make better decisions.

SPEAKER_03: 45:55

Oh, I like that. Cool. I have a question about mine, and maybe you're gonna go into this, but especially when it pertains to work and knowing that I do drop even more in that dominance category, and I am very cautious, tend to be more agreeable, all of that. Knowing what you know about me and my full assessment and the fact that I am a self-proclaimed and my assessment says so people please, quote unquote people pleaser. Does some of that come from a protective place of not wanting to do the wrong thing, not wanting to disappoint people, not wanting to make a wrong move?

SPEAKER_00: 46:43

Yes. Basically, your high I has an inherent need, not a want, not a desire, an inherent need to be liked. And your high S doesn't want to rock the boat, does not like confrontation. In fact, confrontation is kind of like kryptonite for high S people. So if you think about this at home, you're the boss in your house, right? I mean, you you it's your home, but you go to work, and if I just calm my D down even more, kind of go along, get a wrong people, please. People will like me. I won't rock the boat, nothing bad will happen, and it's calm waters and it's happy waters. And I think that's really what you're trying to create, Aaron. How do you feel about it?

SPEAKER_03: 47:22

Well, I think that makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_00: 47:26

Good questions, you guys. See, this is the kind of stuff that when you start asking these questions of somebody like me that's in the room that can help you with this, you actually can really learn a lot about yourself and you start to learn the dynamic you that you are and what you can do to really be that dynamic you to an even larger level with more full understanding of who you are. And what we're talking about here are strengths, you know. We're just talking about your human potential and what you can do to really level that up. And if we go over to your I, the influencer in both of you, you're very close together here. You know, Aaron, you top out at enthusiastic and Kelly, you top out between magnetic and inspiring, very high I. You guys, this is not a tendency. This is more absolute up here in this air, anything above 70. And we're really starting to get very, very strong with that tendency to the point of being absolute. But you guys are both so close together. This is what you share. This is the one thing that you are so close on in your whole behavioral profile, is your eye to be able to talk to each other, to be able to come across the way you do on the air with the people you talk to on PIG, how you interact with your friends, your family. It's very similar because you're both so high I in that interactive influencer space that lives within both of you. And if we go over to your S, we can see that there's a little bit of a staircase here, just like with the D, right? So you're both above the energy line, you're both IS, but at the same time, Aaron, you're way up there between patient and passive. I mean, this is a strong S for you. You know, I don't want to be changed. I need to understand what's happening before it happens. I need to know what's happening, why is it happening, when's it happening, and how's it happening? And if I do, I feel more secure to move with it. If I don't, I'm gonna put my heels in the ground in all likelihood, and I'm gonna actively or passively resist what's going on because I don't feel safe enough to move. I don't know enough. Kelly down there at steady, right above stable, not quite so much. She can move sooner than you can, especially with that higher D behind her S, where she doesn't need to know quite so many things there. And your paces are very different here, and I think that's what we talked about earlier, just understanding the difference and not letting that be a problem, but letting that be a point of how do we come closer together over our difference in pace, and just communicating about it makes all the difference in the world. Then we go over to your conscientious compliance, the C and your profile, and we can see that both of you are below the energy line here. Aaron, you're all the way up there at obstinate, and Kelly, you're all the way down at arbitrary.

SPEAKER_03: 49:55

So hey, quick giggling, sister.

SPEAKER_00: 49:58

You see this in both of you. It's so funny. You're just spending so many time with you and all.

SPEAKER_04: 50:02

I like the word obstinate when it comes to describing you to me. I may have been using that word for how old are you? 29, 48, 40, at least 45 years.

SPEAKER_00: 50:19

Well, it's it's been with you for a long time. You gotta lean into it now, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And I and I think what's so great about this page is you guys are above the energy line and below the energy line together in every single column. Yeah, so whether it's low task orientation with your DNC, you're both there. Whether it's high people in relationship with your I and your S, you're both there. You're not exactly the same scores, but you both are people relationship oriented first and you're task-oriented second, and you both live in both of those ups at the top and the bottom of the graphs very well together. There's more in alignment than there is less in alignment, in all honesty.

SPEAKER_04: 50:59

I love that. So I had a thought as we're going through all of this, and I also have something that I want you to share, Marcus, with listeners. So I'm going to start with the first, our mother. And one of the things that I always remember our mom saying is, man, you guys are so much alike, but you're so different. And I see that so clearly in these graphs and on this page as we're looking at these words. And again, we're on page six. If listeners are looking at our reports and had pulled them up online or end up getting their own. So, number one, I think that that's that's just a nice little reflection for me. I see that kind of shining through on this page. The other thing is Aaron and I have been very open and honest with each other, with you, with Chris and Jason, you know, in their relationship and working on this project, and with our listeners, that over the last year and a half, Aaron and I have been given this gift to really get authentic, raw, real, and work on our relationship. And we both had this underlying value of our relationship is so important to us, we don't want to live disconnected. And we want to help other siblings or family members who feel disconnected know that they can bridge that gap with each other. There is a way, and part of that honesty in even unpacking the disconnect has been how did we even get disconnected? So we've unpacked that. You know, what were the different situations? What were the circumstances? But what I see on this page is behaviorally, maybe why we disconnected, but also weren't willing to even admit our disconnect. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00: 52:54

It does. And the thing that I see in addition to that is that you two are relationship oriented first and foremost. And so your relationship is paramount because the way that this reads to me is that if you two lost your relationship, it'd be devastating to the two of you because there's no reason for you to lose your relationship. There's just none. We've already had losses in relationship, all of us, and they never feel good. But you two have been around each other your whole entire lives, and you are relationship-oriented first and foremost. And to lose this would be devastating to the two of you. So it makes a lot of sense why you would naturally gravitate back towards each other and given an opportunity to open a door and move, walk in that room together and go, hey, can we really take this thing to the highest potential we have while we're alive and really enjoy this relationship in ways we never have before? How exciting! Why wouldn't you do it? It's right there waiting for you. And you're already doing a great job with it.

SPEAKER_04: 53:51

Well, thank you. You've been a huge instrumental part of that. And I hope it inspires our listeners to really look at their relationships and what's possible. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 54:00

Well, if we just take a step to page seven from here now, I think we're going to come to a page where we're just looking at your top four behavioral competencies. Okay, these are the ones that stand out. If we were to spend a day with Aaron, spend a day with Kelly, these are some things that we would see in them very, very easily because they are so strong within their behavioral profile. If we just look at Aaron's real quick, her number one is people-oriented, build rapport with a wide range of individuals. She scores 100. So Aaron has to be around people, she has to talk to people, she has to do things involving people. It just matters crazy, crazy important to her. Kelly, her number one is interaction, which happens to be Aaron's number three. So they share this one, right? Kelly's number one interaction, frequently engage and communicate with others. 100. She has to talk to people. If Kelly can't talk to people, even if it's just me, it's not good.

SPEAKER_04: 54:57

Well, good thing I like talking to you on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_00: 55:00

I know, right? And and and you've and you're in you've had careers where you've had to talk to people on an ongoing basis all day long. And you know, you just love it. You just love interacting with human beings. It's it's part of your natural makeup, and so it's in your wheelhouse, we would say, is something you must be engaging with daily in order to be happy and fulfilled. And Aaron, same thing with people-oriented in her number one. Then we get down to number two for Aaron, customer-oriented 97. Identify and fill customer expectations. This is even with your friends. Think of your friends as internal customers in your life, really kind of identifying and what do they need and what do they want from you as that supporter that that S actually is, you know, coming in at 97, very, very strong. Anything that has to do with customer service, Erin would likely do very, very well simply because she likes to talk to people. She likes people, and she's customer oriented, and she has a consistent approach with how she processes and deals with situations. We look at Kelly, number two, versatile, adapts to various situations with ease. This is the mark of a high eye. And she's got that D next to her there coming up below her energy line that really wants that that that change too, that versatility, that frequent change. So Kelly doesn't mind moving from this to that and the other. That's why she's got eight different things on her desk right now, and and she can move from this, that to the other. She can pivot at will. Multitasking can still be a challenge for her, and you wear her out at the end of the day, but she can move this, that, and the other. And then Aaron's number three is interaction, just like Kelly's number one, but Aaron's is a 90, still above average. Very, very powerful score here. And then Kelly's number three is frequent change, rapidly shifting between tasks. This is where we see her driver pop up into her behavioral style, her dominant behavioral style, and really show itself up. And you know, when we go out to eat, I'm a person who likes to find something that I like to eat, and then I just like to keep ordering the same thing. It's kind of counter to my behavioral style. But my wife is like, Oh, I wonder what that'll taste like, or oh, I wonder what that'll be. And she looks at the menu, and her lower D and her desire for change and fun and versatility causes her to see things on the menu that I'm down to like three things. She's like, I could pick eight different things, you know, and it's just that desire for change and the uniqueness of it, and what will that bring? What energy will that bring? And then in number four, we have Erin being consistent, perform predictably in repetitive situations. That's your S right there in the behavioral profile. And Kelly, you have customer oriented as well. So identify and fill customer expectations in your number four position. So again, if we look at page seven, we see there's a lot of yellow and a lot of green, I and S in your style, and we see very clearly that you both share interaction and customer orientation in your top competencies, behaviorally speaking. You have a lot going on that really aligns with each other.

SPEAKER_03: 57:53

Wow. Can I ask a question about so my number one is people-oriented with a score of 100? Kelly's number one is interaction with a score of 100. How are those different? What differentiates being people-oriented versus that tag word of interaction? What's the distinction between those two?

SPEAKER_00: 58:17

Fair enough. When we talk about interaction, I think we can just go to the definition: frequently engage and communicate with others. So this is all about just the communication aspect with other people. When we go to people-oriented, again, let's look to the definition, build rapport with a wide range of individuals. This is being able to create sort of a fun atmosphere with a lot of number of different people around you, as opposed to just merely engaging them in communication. That's the difference.

SPEAKER_04: 58:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 58:44

Good question. Thank you. Really good question.

SPEAKER_04: 58:47

So it's more about relationship building and having a personal connection, perhaps, with those individuals.

SPEAKER_00: 58:54

Absolutely, as opposed to just frequently engaging with someone.

SPEAKER_03: 58:58

Yeah. Which is so interesting. I mean, I've said my entire life that even before I ever did these assessments, I would have described myself forever as a relationship builder. That's who I am to the very core of my being.

SPEAKER_00: 59:14

Right there. That's number one.

SPEAKER_03: 59:16

So that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:00

Together, right? Think about how that plays together.

SPEAKER_04: 1:00:02

We have some people that may be looking at these reports, Marcus. Can you explain? There's a little gray bar with a number underneath it and the average of the population and the mean. Can you just describe that just a little bit so we cover it?

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:18

Absolutely. Let's just take um Kelly's because the gray bar is so wide in that particular one on number one interaction. So the 58 with the asterisk next to it in the middle with the white line, that's the mean. That's the middle of the average where 68% of respondents have scored. And then you see above that white line, to the right of that white line, is one standard deviation away from the mean. That's the upper half of the average. Anything above that gray wedge to the full right hand side of that yellow scale would be two standard deviations away from the mean. Now, if we go the opposite direction, the gray to the left of the 58, one standard deviation down from the mean and the and the average. And then again, from the end of that gray bar on the left hand side, all the way to the left and left hand side of that yellow continuum, that is two standard deviations from the mean. To make that simple, let's look at the bottom. There's some there's a scale at the bottom. You see the EP with a circle around it, PM, etc. Three standard deviations above the mean would be extremely passionate. Okay. Two standard deviations above the mean is passionate. So let's take a look at Kelly. Kelly over here in her interaction, the mean is 58. One standard deviation is to the end of the gray, two standard deviations is to the end of the yellow. She is passionately interactive. Okay. And then also you can see at the end of the scores. See where it says Kelly 100, it says P in a circle. That correlates with the scale at the bottom. So we can say Kelly is passionately interactive. Aaron, notice how small her um graph is, her average is. It's so much smaller than Kelly's in the 58. Notice that gray wedge is smaller, not as long. And notice where it says 100 EP. You are three standard deviations from the mean in your particular score, Aaron, and you're extremely passionately people-oriented. It's very powerful. If we go the other direction, which we can't see here because we're not looking at the bottom, there's there's a total of 12 of these in a full report. If we were to get down to your number 9, 10, 11, and 12, we would see the indifference. We would see the mainstream start to show up more, and we would see the extremely indifferent show up too, because they would be below the mean, either one, two, or three standard deviations.

SPEAKER_04: 1:02:37

Thanks for covering that. Yeah. I just wanted to explain that in case people were looking at that and just kind of wondering. With that, we're looking at the entire population of individuals who have ever taken this report, and that is a lot.

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:54

Yeah, and that gray wedge represents those 68% of all people who ever took this fall into that. Like with Kelly, that 50% that gray wedge that she has, that's where 68% of all people who've ever taken this assessment fall into that gray wedge somewhere. Then from there, you've got 32% left. So there's 16% below and 16% below. So if you think about it, in order to be where you are, Kelly, with your interaction at 100, only 16% of the population that's ever taken this assessment have ever scored up there. That's how powerful it is. That's why it's passionate. Three standard deviation is extremely passionate. It's really a strong force within you.

SPEAKER_04: 1:03:34

Well, and I think that's important because that also plays into how Aaron and I recognize in each other these very specific types of behaviors and why we may do or say or behave in certain ways that are different from each other. Yes. Because Aaron is so extremely passionate about people orientation, building rapport and customer-oriented identifying and fulfilling expectations that she doesn't understand why everybody in the world isn't that way.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:11

That's exactly right, because it's so powerful to her, so strong, it's all-encompassing. You're right. You're right. Cool. Thank you. And this helps us understand that people are different to us. They do not see it the same way. They aren't as passionate about certain things as we are. And that'll show up again in driving forces as well. The next page that we come up to is page eight. And I don't want to spend a lot of time here. All I'm trying to show you here with this particular page is that it's Kelly's score, Aaron's score, the difference between your scores all the way through your D I S N C. But we've got all 12 competencies here listed, all 12 of them. And what I like to really pay attention to is the differences. So let's just take the D competitive frequent change and urgency, right here at the top, one, two, and three. It shows the means, it shows your scores. You guys here have a pretty good difference: 30 points in competitiveness, 27 points in frequent change, and 24 points in sense of urgency. So this is a significant difference. This isn't a small thing, these are big tendency tendency differences that can really work against you if you guys don't understand them and navigate them together. This is in likelihood going to make Kelly move much faster, be more decisive than you, etc. And we have to find a way to bring that back closer together with some of the decisions you're making, the projects you're working on.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:29

That's interesting.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:30

If we go down to let's just say your C compliance, analysis, following policy, organized workplace, 10, 11, and 12. Look at your score differences 10, 20, and 10.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:42

Yeah, that's really fascinating, actually.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:45

In analysis, there's only a 10-point difference. You're both probably fairly similar in how you analyze stuff. Organized workplace, which by the way isn't a clean desk. It's establishing and maintaining order and routines and processes and systems in your life to help you get things done. Again, both of you are within 10 points of each other. Probably not a massive, massive difference between the two of you. So that's what I like this page for, to really kind of show us okay, where there's a bigger gap, we probably have a bigger bridge to build to meet each other. Where there's a smaller gap, that's more just kind of easy for us to navigate that better without much snags here and there. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:23

It does make sense. And I think building off what we just talked about on the previous page, if we look under influence, how you influence people and contacts, there's interaction, people-oriented, and versatile. So that's where those three really showed up strongly for both of us on the previous page. In people-oriented, build rapport with a ride range of individuals, Aaron's a hundred, I'm a 65.

SPEAKER_02: 1:06:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:49

So there's a 35-point differential there that you don't necessarily see on any other page of the report, but we see it here.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:58

Yes, we do.

SPEAKER_04: 1:06:59

So there's the difference between the extremely passionate and the passionate. That's that's really powerful. I'm I'm glad we looked at this page. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:08

Yeah, because in the comparison, we're just comparing your top four behavioral competencies, but there's a total of 12. And so this page, like you said, Kelly, really elicits the rest of it, it illuminates the rest of it to you. But we're focused on the top four because those are the four that are really going inside of you. Those are the ones that are really active inside of you. There's your wheelhouse, too. Yeah, very cool. And we go to the next page, we come to something so fascinating and so wonderful, whether it's personal or professional, makes no difference. I mean, how many times have you ever been asked where you go to work? How would you prefer to be communicated with for, you know, so that it's easy for you to listen and engage? That never happens, really.

SPEAKER_04: 1:07:47

Never.

SPEAKER_00: 1:07:48

But we can actually do that with people in businesses and on teams, and it works exceedingly well when we go through the process and they develop the skill set that it takes to do this, which isn't that hard to do. And in relationships, oh, right? There's so many unspoken things that irritate us about each other, this, that, or the other, things that we really wish the person would do or not do. And here we can actually start talking about that specifically in regards to communication. So on page nine, what we're looking at are ways that Kelly and Aaron would probably like people to communicate with them. And if they do so, their ears will stay open, their mind will stay receptive, and they'll stay engaged with the conversation if these things happen. If they don't happen, other things happen that they don't like, they'll start to tune out. But let's focus on the ways you like people to communicate with you and just focus on Aaron. So, Kelly, when you read your list of how you would like Aaron to communicate with you, think of her. Think of her. And Aaron, do the same with your sister. Try not to think of other people. This is just about the two of you in your comparison report. So, in other words, Aaron, which three of those eight bullet points do you want most from your sister when she talks to you? And Kelly, which three of those eight bullet points do you want most from Aaron when she talks to you? Just let me know when you got them.

SPEAKER_04: 1:09:09

Anytime.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:11

Kelly, what'd you come up with?

SPEAKER_04: 1:09:13

Ooh, they're all so good. Provide ideas for implementing action.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_04: 1:09:21

Read body language for approval or disapproval.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:25

Very good.

SPEAKER_04: 1:09:27

Leave time for relating and socializing.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:30

Nice. I'm sure your sister will appreciate that. All right. So, Kelly, would you when you say provide ideas for implementing action, what does that mean? Tell your sister what that means.

SPEAKER_04: 1:09:44

So I am an implementer and I like to get projects moving and make sure they stay on track. Especially when we're working, let's say, let's just take this podcast, because this is the biggest project we're working on together right now. Anything Erin can bring to the table and share her ideas, because I value her opinions and her ideas and want to make sure that what we are doing is in alignment, not just with the direction that I'm moving because I'm moving, right? Because we have to keep things moving forward, but that her ideas allow the implementation and action to take place.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:33

Does that make sense to you, Erin? Do you understand what she's saying to you?

SPEAKER_03: 1:10:36

Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:37

Okay. Very good. Now, when you go down to number seven and you talk about read the body language for approval or disapproval, what are you saying to your sister there?

SPEAKER_04: 1:10:47

Sometimes it's hard still, even with how far we've come in our relationship and our connection, to say, yeah, I like that or don't, yeah, no, I don't like that, or yeah, I think we should go in that direction, or no, we shouldn't. And so, but I know I'm wearing it because 97% of all communication is body language and tone. And so I just think that I think that that's probably an area that we can and continue to get better on is reading each other's body language and tone. I work really hard to improve my skill set in that area, but it's something that you have to work on over time. And so I that yeah, that's it there.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:34

Are you wanting her to watch your body language and when she senses through what she observes about you that I'm not so sure about that one, Aaron, that she says, oh, hey, stop for a moment. Let's talk about this. I'm sensing that you don't feel real strong about this one way or the other, to continue the conversation.

SPEAKER_04: 1:11:51

Yeah, so great. This is see why we need coaching so much, because this is exactly it. It's hard to articulate that, but you articulated that really well. And I think pausing, using reading body language and tone as an opportunity to pause and stop on that specific topic so that we have clarity, so that neither one of us are making assumptions is so cool for both of us to really lean into.

SPEAKER_03: 1:12:20

Yeah, the other thing that's really interesting about that for me is given both of our profiles, is that the interaction is really important to both of us. And this is where I feel like communication in general with so many people goes off the rails, is because when we aren't talking live, right, and we live in two different areas of the United States, right? So we record the podcast on Zoom long distance. So much of our communication takes place over the phone. And so that's why we're even in text message, emailing, you know, written words so many times, you know, we read those messages the way we're reading them, not necessarily how people are intending them to sound, and vice versa. And so this is where this is so important, right? As much communication as we can do, especially on really important projects like this podcast, right? Things that are really important to both of us that we're trying to move forward together. It sounds like, Marcus, correct me if I'm wrong, but then as much communication as we can do where we can see each other, and I have the opportunity to read that body language because I feel like I actually do a decent job at reading your body language when I can see your body language, right? Um, but when I can't, that's where, yeah, communication just falls off and it causes disconnect.

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:59

It's exceedingly helpful. It's exceedingly helpful to see people.

SPEAKER_04: 1:14:03

Yeah. I almost didn't select that one and selected a different one because we do so much emailing and texting. And I know that it's really difficult, but I purposely selected it because it I thought, well, we actually do need more face-to-face sometimes. Yeah. Um, but we do work, we do have full lives, we have relationships, we have family, and I think that this is an important topic, could be a whole episode in and of itself, is the loss of human connection and conversation through live interaction and defaulting to text and email, and how that really is breaking down relationships. And it really does sometimes break down progress, especially when working on big important projects like the PIG.

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:55

And think and think about how expressive the two of you are as your high eyes, right? You're some of the most demonstrative people that exist on the face of the planet in the sense that you talk with your bodies, your faces, your hands, everything moves. And to miss that, to miss that on important things is a lot to miss. And so I think anytime you can see each other while you're talking, and wow, you know, technology has a double-edged sword. It's not always great, but it can be really great. And in this instance, it is FaceTime, right? Zoom, whatever you need to do to see each other's face when it's important, it'll probably help you guys a lot.

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:28

Yeah, yeah, agreed.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:30

Cool. And Kelly, your your last one that you picked was number eight. Leave time for relating and socializing. Um, Aaron, is there any explanation needed here?

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:39

No, but yes, please.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:46

Oh my goodness. Well, Aaron, what what three did you pick for your sister? What do you want the most from Kelly when she talks to you?

SPEAKER_03: 1:15:54

Oh so same. They're all so good and so important. Um, but number four, present your case softly, non-threateningly, with a sincere tone of voice. I am so sensitive to how I'm spoken to. And this is a general statement in my life, and certainly Kelly knows this about me, but what you say is important to me, but how people communicate with me is really important. So I do like that gentle approach to communication.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:32

Very nice. Hey Aaron, can I ask you a question before you go on? Yeah. When you say present your case softly, non-threateningly with a secure tone of voice, what kind of a state does that put you in when communicating with another person? When those things are are present, soft voice, non-threatening, sincere tone of voice, what kind of a emotional state does that put you in when they're talking to you?

SPEAKER_03: 1:16:53

I feel like it puts me in a state of calm and openness to where I'm then really receptive to the words that are spoken. I'm really open to what is being said if I feel like it's a safe place. And so when people talk to me, like when people raise their voice at me or are more aggressive in their approach to me, I shut down. I just won't even hear what you have to say because I it just it's it's it's wild, actually, the true physiological response that happens with my body if I feel threatened. And somebody might not be talking to me in what they see as a threatening way, like they would never use that word necessarily, necessarily to describe themselves or the way they're communicating with me, but it is definitely how I interpret kind of a a more aggressive tone, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:59

That's why I said earlier that confrontation is like kryptonite to high S's. At the slightest sign of it, they want to start to retract, they want to start to go inside their shell. Can I get out of this room? Can I get out of this conversation? Whatever the case may be. So all of us, if we're talking to a high S such as yourself, we have to keep it a really calm, stable place where they feel safe and there's not in danger. And then, like you said, you stay very open, very receptive, willing to listen, willing to participate. And very quickly, if that changes, I'm out.

SPEAKER_03: 1:18:28

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:29

It's that it's just like that. That's really great. I wanted everybody to hear that because it's so profound with high S's.

SPEAKER_03: 1:18:35

Yeah. As a relationship builder, if I feel like that relationship is threatened in any way, then I'm like, oh, never mind. I'm out. I'll go build a relationship with somebody else. I don't really care what you have to say, you know? So that that's really interesting. Yeah. So thank you for asking more questions in regards to that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:58

Does that make sense to you, Kel?

SPEAKER_04: 1:19:00

Oh, it does, absolutely. And where I really see that playing out is where I break down under pressure and I am experiencing some stress, or I'm we're down to the wire, or we're coming up against a deadline. I have to really choose my words and my approach with Erin very, very carefully because my higher D and my task-oriented, we need to get this done, we need to make a decision, we need to get, you know, this in line. I feel like that can sometimes come across as hard and threatening and insincere when it's not meant that way at all. So that's another good awareness place for me as the communicator.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:44

Well done, ladies.

SPEAKER_04: 1:19:45

Love that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:46

Well done. Aaron, what what's the next one you picked?

SPEAKER_03: 1:19:51

The next one I picked is actually I feel like um one and three kind of overlap a little bit. So the showing interest, but then providing personal assurances. Like I just want to be reassured that how do I word this? I think I just want to be reassured that I'm doing okay. Personal assurance is really profound to me. I don't know if it's a almost like a underlying belief that somebody has in me, if that makes sense or if that aligns, you know, like I know who you are, I know the kind of work that you do, I'm confident in your abilities, I believe in you. And so I think when I read personal assurances, that's how I read that. I don't know if that's accurate, but that's how I interpreted it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:20:45

I'm actually glad you did that because the assessments are editable, meaning that we know we don't get every single statement or every single word correct. We're really good at what we do, but we don't get everything correct. So in number one and number three, you picked out what really stood out to you. Show sincere interest in her as a person. Hear about me as a person, be interested in me, you know, be real and provide assurances that I'm okay, I'm doing a good job, or you like me as your friend, or you like me as your sister, or things like that. I mean, I think it's so great that you did that because what you just basically showed all of our listeners is that you can edit these things to make them really stand out and really apply to you at a very, very high level. And it makes a lot of sense to me what you just said. Does it make sense to you, Kelly?

SPEAKER_04: 1:21:28

Oh, it absolutely does. I have known this about Erin since the moment she came into the world. For 48 years, she has wanted people to show a genuine sincere interest in who she is as a human being. And she has needed personal assurance her whole life. And I think when we get into the conversation about Kelly becoming the caretaker, there is a really fine line there because that is the role that I have played with Erin for so many, almost five decades now. And we're really navigating that in this stage of our relationship and really being honest and coming to terms with the fact of how that role has caused some problems and some disconnect, how it's also caused some issues, even for me. And yet, at the same time, there are ways to show interest and provide assurances without being a caretaker.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:32

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well done, ladies.

SPEAKER_04: 1:22:36

That's cool. I think that's really beautiful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:39

Well, now we get to look at the other side of the equation. This is what you wanted the other person to do when they talk to you because it really perks your ears up, it keeps you open, it keeps you engaged. Now we're gonna look at the other side of the equation, page 10. How you don't want Kelly to communicate with you, or how you don't want Aaron to communicate with you because it shuts you down, it closes the doors, it makes you want to stop listening. Because remember, when we're talking to people, we're trying to find ways to keep people engaged, to make them want to hear what we say, not shut them down. But so often we don't realize what it is that shuts other people down very quickly, as I might add. As little as a few seconds, somebody can decide, I'm out, I'm not, I'm not, I'm I'm acting like I'm listening, I'm placating you, but I'm not none of this is going in. So it's really this side of the equation is super important as well. So, Aaron, out of your eight bullet points, which three do you not want your sister to do to you the most because they really turn you off and tune you out? And Kelly, same for you with your eight bullet points over on the right hand side.

SPEAKER_03: 1:23:39

It's so interesting. The things that stick out to me the most kind of all fall in line with what I was just talking about, how I want to be spoken to. And so, and Kelly does not do this to me, but you know, number three, like patronize or demean me. Um, number four is the same way, number six, be domineering or demanding. I again, that all kind of falls in line for me, of things that would probably shut me down the fastest if people approach me in that way. Though if that's how somebody's trying to communicate with me or has, you know, yeah, I'm like stumbling over my words, but those those would likely shut you down pretty big time because you think about it, they're the opposite of your dominant behavioral style.

SPEAKER_02: 1:24:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:28

Right? If they're the opposite of your S. Like you may get dictatorial from a high D, domineering and demanding from a high D, which happens to be the opposite of a high S fundamentally, and you're a very low D and a very high S. So those are the things in all likelihood that would be triggers for you, just like, oh my gosh, I don't like it here anymore, and I don't want to listen anymore.

SPEAKER_03: 1:24:46

Yeah, yeah. And so, and I think that then along with that, and I'm I'll throw this one in there too, like number eight, take credit for my ideas. It's so interesting because that also for me falls in line with the I want to be heard, I want to be understood, I really want to build these partnerships and relationships with people. And so when I do put forth an effort in like tasks, then specifically, then that somebody else doesn't acknowledge that I did that, especially because it's that's so far removed from kind of my go-to style, right? So when I do have tasks that need to be done or that I'm working on one at a time and getting accomplished, then I am somebody who does like to be recognized for the things that I've accomplished. And so when that doesn't happen, or even worse than when somebody else takes the credit for the work that I did, that just stings because then I feel like there's a breakdown in the true partnership and as a relationship builder, yeah, and somebody who really finds that valuable and important, then it just stings when that doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_00: 1:26:09

And there's another connection here. Look at here, provide personal or assurances, right? You're doing a good job. That was a great idea, way to go. It was an opportunity. If they take credit for your ideas, it's an opportunity to take praise and recognition that you like, that you kind of that feels good to me. You see the connection there too? Yeah. Very good. Very good. You did say that these three, three, five, and six are things Kelly does not do. Is there anything on here that she does do that?

SPEAKER_04: 1:26:36

Yeah, I was gonna ask the same thing.

SPEAKER_03: 1:26:43

It's so interesting because I mean, there there are things that she does, but like number one's hilarious, right? Drive on to facts, figures, like she's a scientist through and through. And so she like she's just like so intrigued by numbers and data and you know, all of that learning. And I'm like, I really want to care about all of this stuff. And it's so funny because I don't mind, like, I love that part of her brain and that she brings a passion about those things into our conversations, whether it's related to the podcast or not, right? Like if I mean she could be talking about genetics, right? And facts and figures and all of the things. And I love that her brain works that way, and I'm fascinated because mine just doesn't. And so it's not that I don't want her to communicate those things to me, it's just that she needs to understand that she can communicate those things to me, and they are literally going to leave my brain the moment that they enter. And that I just don't retain, you know, like I it's just it's not, I don't know how to explain it, but there's nothing that she really does, I don't know, that put that puts up a wall, I guess, between us.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:14

You think the word drive is the key word here? Like if she just shares facts, figures, things like that, you know, things she's learned about, things she's excited about, that's cool. But if she drives on them, drives on him, drives on him, keeps just going, it's like, oh my gosh. Okay. Erin has left the building.

SPEAKER_04: 1:28:30

In one ear, out the other. That's fair.

SPEAKER_03: 1:28:35

That's fair.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:36

It's that word drive that I think really is the kicker for a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03: 1:28:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:40

Well done. Well done. Anything else?

SPEAKER_03: 1:28:44

No, not for me. I want to know what Kelly has to say.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:21

What do you got, Kill?

SPEAKER_03: 1:29:22

Ramble? Short story long. Listen to what happened to me today.

SPEAKER_04: 1:29:30

Leave decisions hanging in the air. Be Kurt Colder tight lip. Huh.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:39

Don't over talk, don't under talk, and let's make some decisions, will ya?

SPEAKER_03: 1:29:43

Okay, I'm gonna work on that. I got homework.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:46

Is there anything you want to share, Kelly?

SPEAKER_03: 1:29:51

Be gentle. Be gentle. Approach me gently.

SPEAKER_04: 1:29:56

Aaron, you're amazing, and I love you, and I'm gonna. Assure you that if we ramble less and leave less decisions hanging in the air, I won't be mean to you in any way, shape, or form. No, those are just what happens is I get into let's be honest, podcasting is way more work than either one of us ever anticipated going into this project would be. So I'm talking about this project specifically and our communication on this business, you know, even though it's not a business, but this project that we're working on. When we are engaged in conversation as sisters, and we're just being sisters, I love when Erin rambles and tells me all of her great stories because they're fun and they're entertaining and they're beautiful. We have such a great time with that. And there really aren't decisions to be left hanging in the air. I think the Kurt Cold and Tight lipped is really only associated with I my feelings can get hurt personally too. And if I feel like I'm bothering Erin or reminding her for the second, fifth, or forty ninth time, I'm being annoying. And then I hesitate and hold back. And so then I'm sacrificing my time and also our time as partners in this project to ensure that we get things done in the way that we need to get them done to move forward. And it's really just about progress and about, you know, not being perfect, but you know, meeting our deadlines or delivering, you know, what we promised we would get out at a certain time or things like that. So that's that's really what those are. It's really just in these kind of business-oriented conversations. Those are the three that jumped off the page to me.

SPEAKER_00: 1:32:00

Well done, ladies. Well done. Now you have a little guideline to help you out. I thought we had great conversations. Don't you feel like that was robust? We went a little deeper. We we looked at some things, we we came closer together in our understanding of some wants and some dislikes in communication, which, if you guys work on that, it makes it even easier than it is already for you guys to communicate. And some people they have really tough situations for communication. Imagine what this might do for them.

SPEAKER_04: 1:32:26

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:32:28

Well, we've got two more pages to go in the disc, and this is these next two pages, I think, are a whole lot of fun. So if we go to page 11, we talk about something called value to the organization. And just look at this as your value in general, okay? So it doesn't have to be about the PIG or it can be, whatever you decide. It doesn't matter. You get to choose. The power is in your hands. Now we have a list of eight bullet points for the value that Aaron brings, the natural behavioral tendency she brings to the table. Think of it like a tool belt, you know, like a construction worker's tool belt. These are eight tools, Aaron, that you have in your tool bag at the ready. You don't have to buy them, invent them, or learn how to use them. They're there and they're at the ready. Whenever you need them, you can use them. And one of the reasons we show this to people is to make sure that you understand what's in your wheelhouse, what's right there, ready and accessible for you every single day of your life, everywhere you go and everything you do. And Kelly, the same is true for you. There's eight for you as well. And what I'd like to do here is I'd like you guys to look each other, look at each other through your own lens of perception. So, Aaron, I would like you to look at Kelly's column of values and pick out the two that you love the most about your sister. And Kelly, I'd like you to look at Aaron's and do the same thing. And if you guys both find that there are three things you really love about your sister or a value that they really bring, let's do three. Got them?

SPEAKER_03: 1:33:50

Got them. That was easy.

SPEAKER_00: 1:33:52

I know you both were very quick. I watched your body language. Speaking of watching body language, I'm like, wow, they really made quick decisions here. Excellent, Kelly. What are your top three things that you really value about your sister, Erin, from this list of eight bullet points?

SPEAKER_04: 1:34:07

I have a question for the listeners. Can I read all eight and then tell you my top ones? Absolutely. Okay. So Aaron's value is people-oriented, positive sense of humor, accomplishes goals through people, verbalizes her feelings, builds confidence in others, dependable team player, creative problem solving, and builds good relationships. And I agree with every single one of those tools in her tool belt. If I had to pick three, because I'm not going to do just two, unequivocally her positive sense of humor. I love it, I admire it, I want more of it, I lean into it, I depend on it, I enjoy it. I just, it's one of the things I absolutely love about Erin the most. I also love that Erin verbalizes her feelings. And I think it's one of the things on this podcast specifically that really creates a strong sense of connection and relationship to especially our guests that we have on. She listens and then she really has a way of verbalizing how she feels about what she's heard or what she's thinking. And with that, builds confidence in others. And I think that by verbalizing her feelings and using her positive sense of humor, that's what she does. She builds confidence in other people. And I think that that's such a beautiful value that she brings because it's the very thing that she's also looking for herself.

SPEAKER_00: 1:35:46

How does that feel, Erin, to hear those three wonderful things from your sister?

SPEAKER_03: 1:35:50

Fezing. It feels so good. Thank you. I love you. I love you too.

SPEAKER_00: 1:35:57

All right. Well done. Erin, would you mind reading all eight of Kelly's and letting us know which three really stand out to you?

SPEAKER_03: 1:36:03

Yes. So Kelly's list of eight is self-reliant, accomplishes goals through people, big thinker, optimistic and enthusiastic, creative problem-solving, negotiates conflicts, builds confidence in others, and people-oriented. The first one is number three, big thinker. I have so much admiration for how big you think and dream and believe about so many things. You think outside the box and you think far beyond anybody that I actually have ever known. You just see really far into the future. You think about what can be, and you take these beautiful ideas and and just grow them. And it's incredible. And I've watched you do it in so many things. Yes, on the PAG, but in your work and in the big backyard, like children's book series, like just all of these things, all these big, beautiful ideas that you have, and you just run with them. And you have created so many incredible things and continue to do that. So I really do, I really do love how big you think and dream and believe. So that's really cool. And so I'm gonna follow that actually with number four, optimistic and enthusiastic, because you do it with such you do all of those things and think about all of those things with such enthusiasm and a belief in yourself and a belief in what can be. And so I do think that you are a very optimistic person, and you said it before, actually, just believing the best in people and just the class is always mostly full. It's not even half full, it's like all the way full. Might be like half full of water and half full of air. That makes it a hundred percent full. And I feel like absolutely that's how you look at things, and so that's really cool and very admirable. And then number five, creative problem solving. We're just gonna go one, two, three right there in a row. Um, I think that again, like I could have picked any three of these eight and really give an explanation and put words and value behind any of it, but you are a very creative problem solver. And I have seen it in work and in personal life, with me personally, with your kids, with Marcus, with family members, and all of the things is if somebody comes to you with a dilemma or a problem, you are very quick to think of ways to get through that, to solve a problem, to get through a conflict, to face adversity. And you have such a beautiful, eloquent way of speaking and articulating those thoughts. And so I really I respect and admire you a lot. And I always know that I can come to you with an issue or a problem, however big or small, because you're gonna guide and direct me in a really thoughtful way.

SPEAKER_00: 1:39:31

I hope that the listeners could really feel how good that was, right? Kelly, how good did that feel?

SPEAKER_04: 1:39:37

Well, I'm teary.

SPEAKER_00: 1:39:39

So that was very touching.

SPEAKER_04: 1:39:45

I mean it. To spend time recognizing each other's value, whether it's your sister, a sibling, a partner, a husband, a spouse, a mother, a father, a family member, a team member, if it's like no matter who it is, but to have this kind of opportunity to not only express those feelings towards others, but to have them reflected back to you is a really powerful thing to experience. And it is deeply connecting.

SPEAKER_00: 1:40:24

This is my favorite page to work on with people when I work with couples or I work with team members because people say things to other people and explain it in certain ways that you watch people just grow closer together. You you watch them knit closer together and their bonds grow stronger, whether it's personal or professional, husband and wife, or brother and sister, it makes no difference. You know, it's just it's beautiful to think of a person and to be able to share the great things that you see about them from this page and to talk about that with emotion and real genuine sincerity and to watch that transform people right before your eyes. It's one of my great gifts that I receive as a coach is watching things like we just watched happen right now. It's lovely. Well done, ladies. I'm so happy for both of you. I hope your hearts are full.

SPEAKER_03: 1:41:08

They are well.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41:12

Our last page is page 12, and this is a very interesting page, another one of my favorite pages. And basically, what this page is called perceptions, and it's how each of you break down under pressure based on your dominant behavioral style. So for Aaron, that's going to be S, and for Kelly, that's going to be I. Now, Aaron, you may see some of both of these in you simply because your I and your S are so equal in height, but you are we are talking about your dominant, the one you lead with in your personal life, your S and Kelly, your I. So if we take the top line on page 12 where it says Aaron usually sees herself as being, and Kelly usually sees herself as being, let's just see what this says. So, Kelly, will you read Aaron's?

SPEAKER_04: 1:41:58

Yes. Erin usually sees herself as being considerate, thoughtful, good natured, and dependable.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:06

Now, on a good day when everything's right, you've got enough sleep, you're not sick, you feel good, you're just balanced inside. This is how you feel about yourself, and this is how other people see you from the outside too. This is the Erin that they know. Okay. Now, Aaron, why don't you read Kelly's top line?

SPEAKER_03: 1:42:24

Kelly usually sees herself as being enthusiastic, outgoing, charming, and inspiring.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:32

And again, on her good days, when she's feeling good, when she's not overwhelmed, not tired or sick or whatever. This is how Carol Kelly walks through the world, and this is how people see her too from the outside looking in. Let me ask you two this Kelly, do you see your sister as being considerate, thoughtful, good natured, and dependable?

SPEAKER_04: 1:42:50

1000%.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:52

Aaron, do you see Kelly as being enthusiastic, outgoing, charming, and inspiring?

SPEAKER_03: 1:42:56

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_00: 1:42:58

This is how this works. You see, the people around us can see us, it's their perceptions of us and our perceptions of ourselves. Now, when we start to get under moderate pressure, overwhelm, stress, fatigue, when we start to break down under pressure, what happens is that our dominant behavioral style starts to blow itself up like a balloon in order to try to carry us through this stressful event. And sometimes it's it's too much for the job, but it's we start to show up a little different to other people. We may not notice these things about ourselves. And most of the time I find people do not notice these things about themselves. But the people outside them and around them that are looking in upon them as they work with them, live with them, they start to see these things. So, Kelly, under moderate pressure, stress, tension, fatigue, how might others see Aaron?

SPEAKER_04: 1:43:47

Non-demonstrative, hesitant, unconcerned, or inflexible.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43:53

That's very different than considerate, thoughtful, good natured, and dependable, right? She's starting to change, she's starting to morph into a different version of herself under pressure. Non-demonstrative just means that Aaron is an expressive person. She talks, you can see facial expressions. She smiles, she laughs, she uses her hands when she talks sometimes. When she starts to get stressed out, in all likelihood, Erin is going to start to drop those things and go more to a poker face because she's feeling more and more unstable, uh, insecure, threatened, possibly even, or just not in balance. Hesitancy is going to come in with she's even more hesitant to move forward or make a decision because she's starting to get in a precarious situation inside of herself. I don't know what to do, so I'm going to do nothing. She sort of starts to freeze up and then unconcerned. She's deeply concerned, but she's just not showing it because she's got a poker face on. She's non-demonstrative. And so she looks unconcerned to them when inside she doesn't feel good at all. She's very concerned about what's going on, all likelihood. Inflexible, she starts to really kind of seize up now. I'm not really, I'm losing some of my flexibility to move with situations as are happening, and I'm starting to seize up a little bit under pressure. Aaron, does that sound reasonable for how you operate under moderate pressure?

SPEAKER_03: 1:45:11

Yes, very much so. Because even like I said before, I feel like when I am under pressure and I kind of shut down, you know, whether it's self-imposed or external forces upon me, then yes, I can absolutely identify with each of these and I can feel myself progressing through these changes when they're happening.

SPEAKER_00: 1:45:36

Kelly, can you see these things happen in your sister when she's under moderate pressure from the outside looking in?

SPEAKER_04: 1:45:41

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Unequivocally.

unknown: 1:45:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:45:45

Well, let's go over and take a look at Kelly's under moderate pressure. We start to see that she becomes self-promoting, overly optimistic, glib, and unrealistic. These would be the tendencies of a high-eye person. Self-promoting has to do with trying to prove their worth, that what they're doing is necessary, that they're doing a good job, that they're valuable. It's a way of to feed that need of inherent need to be liked. Okay. They're trying to make sure that the person still looks upon them favorably, and that's why they self-promote. Overly optimistic. They're optimistic to begin with. Kelly is a high-eye, highly optimistic human being to begin with. But as this balloon blows itself up to carry her through the stress, she becomes even more optimistic. That's how she tries to get through it. It's a coping mechanism. Blib, anything that's serious that could really detract from the situation, I'm going to downplay. It's not that big of a deal. We can handle it. I got it. That kind of a thing. And then unrealistic and unrealistic in what she can do, or unrealistic in what other people might be able to do in the situation. Does that sound accurate, Kelly?

SPEAKER_04: 1:46:49

Oh, absolutely. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 1:46:50

Aaron, have you seen that in your sister when through the course of your life with her?

SPEAKER_03: 1:46:54

Yeah, I have.

SPEAKER_00: 1:46:56

Okay. Well, lastly, the the bottom level is we're really starting to get under a lot of pressure now. We call this extreme pressure, stress, or fatigue. It may even be at the leading edge or in amygdala hijack, is where you may see some of these things, where that fight or flight scenario comes on, the brain isn't really functioning at a high level because uh blood flow and air oxygen have been allocated to other parts of the body, and we become reactive and not so responsive anymore. So, in that situation, if we go back to Erin, she may show up as possessive, detached, insensitive, and stubborn. These are just stronger aspects of what we saw in the line above under moderate pressure. Detached, she is so poker faced in the state. She's so not showing you any emotion at all that to the outside person looking in, it looks like she doesn't care. She's just detached from the situation when she's probably really suffering with the situation greatly, but nobody else knows it because she's contained it. Stubborn, she already has a little bit of that in her. And in this situation where she's under a lot of pressure, she's not working at her highest level possible, she's going to freeze in position. It's almost like a deer in the headlights. I don't know what to do here, so I'm not going anywhere. The insensitive part, because she's not showing motion again, people think she just may not be feeling anything about the situation. But unbeknownst to them, she's probably agonizing the situation. And possessive is of two things. Either one, possessive of information. If she's really under a lot of pressure and stress and she has some information that could compromise her position, her safety, her security, or somebody else's, she may withhold that information to try to keep it down on the low so nothing bad happens to her or anybody else. If it has to do with a relationship, and that relationship that she values so deeply is trying to move away from her, she may try to latch onto that relationship and pull it back and not let it go anywhere because she values that relationship and doesn't want it to leave. So that's the two ways that a person like Karen can be possessive. Does this all make sense to you, Aaron?

SPEAKER_03: 1:48:56

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

unknown: 1:48:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48:58

You've seen these things in yourself?

SPEAKER_03: 1:49:00

Yes, I have. Not very proud of that. But yes.

SPEAKER_00: 1:49:05

It's okay. We all have these. You know, whether you're D I S or C in the model, we all have how we break down under pressure. And I'll explain in a minute why this is so powerful to not really care for the bottom two layers because that's going to keep us in the top layer if we know how to get there.

SPEAKER_02: 1:49:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:49:18

And then Kelly, under extreme pressure, stress, fatigue, or overwhelm, overly confident, talkative, poor listener, self-promoter. People who are high eyes naturally are not the best listeners because they're more interested in interacting. You really have to train ourselves as high eyes to be good listeners because we want to talk. We want to tell our next story. And so, in a really tense situation, Kelly may show up as even more talkative than normal. She may come across as overly confident, trying to sort of put up a front because she's not really sure if she's can do it or not. But I'm going to put up that front. I want to make sure that people think I can do it. She may be a poorer listener, and she may do some more of that self-promoting to really try to present herself as someone who's valuable, needed in this moment, etc., to keep their positive perspective of her alive. Kelly, do you recognize some of these things about yourself?

SPEAKER_04: 1:50:10

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I can name specific extreme pressure, stress, fatigue, overwhelm situations where these things have absolutely shown up. I can reflect on it almost immediately.

SPEAKER_00: 1:50:23

That's wonderful to be able to just have a device like this at one page, if you will, that you can look at and recognize yourself as you break down under pressure. And also how other people break down under pressure. And what I want to share is that if you don't like level three and you don't like level two, your job is to get back to level one, right? This is where emotional intelligence comes to bear. This is where we want to de-escalate ourselves or seek out the assistance of a friend or family member or anybody who can help us de-escalate ourselves, work through whatever challenge we're having so that we come back to a state of equilibrium and emotional balance within ourselves, and we can once again live in that considerate, thoughtful, good natured, dependable reality that Aaron lives in normally, and that enthusiastic, outgoing, charming, inspiring environment that Kelly normally lives in. In other words, this page is really designed to heighten your level of self-awareness so that you can catch yourself in those lower levels, stop what you're doing, take a timeout, do some breath work, whatever you need to do, take a walk, take lunch early, et cetera, in order to just get back into the better version of you. And the last thing I'd like to share about this particular page is that if you know, if you can recognize that another person is in level two or three, when you're trying to talk to them, you have to understand in level three, chances are not much of it's making it in and it's not sticking if it is. They really can't hear other people because it's so reactive at that point, it's so emotional at that point that their rational brain isn't working very well. So if you have something important to talk to each other about, and you know that one of you or both of you is in one of these lower levels, talk to each other for a minute first about hey, how are you doing? What's going on? Clear the air a little bit, help the other person decompress a little bit to catch their breath again, and then you guys talk about what really matters because then you guys can really communicate and really hear each other. It's a really neat little tool, this page.

SPEAKER_04: 1:52:13

I will say personally, this has always been one of my very, very, very favorite pages in this entire assessment. And one of the reasons is when we're breaking down, we think internally that we're being more of what we usually see ourselves as and what other people usually see us as. So I think I'm being more enthusiastic, outgoing, charming, and inspiring when in fact people are perceiving self-promoting, overly optimistic, glib, unrealistic, overly confident, talkative, and poor listening. And becoming aware of that and combining that with self-awareness and self-regulation and growing those skills over time have helped me express to other people and be open to other people expressing to me that I'm in one of these lower levels, or they are seeing me in these lower levels if I'm not seeing myself there. And having this awareness on this page literally is one of the most transformative moments I've ever had in my life to understand that this is actually how I'm breaking down, but more importantly, how I am being perceived by others when I think I'm just being more of who I am. I'm just like you said, Marcus, so beautifully, you're inflating all of that like a balloon.

SPEAKER_00: 1:53:46

Yeah. It's a very powerful page. I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_03: 1:53:50

I will also say on the other side, that having this page and knowing these things about somebody else is incredible.

SPEAKER_01: 1:54:02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 1:54:03

Having the self-awareness and knowing all of these things about yourself is one thing. And ha having the the knowledge then of, you know, if I'm under pressure, I'm doing these things, other people might be perceiving me in this way. But on the flip side of it, then for me to have this knowledge of Kelly and knowing how she usually is, but then under pressure, these things are coming out, then really for the first time ever, I'm looking at this list and going, oh shoot. Like if I see Kelly acting a certain way or, you know, whatever it is, then for me to have the knowledge of going, oh shoot, like she must be really stressed or tired or under extreme pressure, you know? And so then to have that, wow, just to be able then to know that about her changes then my approach, like being able to recognize that within her, and then being able to be like, instead of being like, Oh, she's just really confident.

SPEAKER_00: 1:55:14

What's her problem today?

SPEAKER_03: 1:55:16

She's being bitchy for me to be like, yeah, instead of being like, Oh, she's being a real bitch, to be like, oh shoot, like, is she okay?

SPEAKER_00: 1:55:25

It goes from like, what's her problem today? What does she need? What does she need? How can I help her? It changes your angle on the person. I love that you said that, Aaron. It's so powerful and strong, it changes your angle on the person instead of taking it personally, like, oh man, Kelly might need a conversation here before we do what we're really supposed to do today, or vice versa. And then you guys get to help each other, support each other, nurture each other into your best state before you do whatever you're going to do. Wow. Wow. Think of the power and relationship there.

SPEAKER_04: 1:55:55

Victory. Yeah. Incredible. That's so cool.

SPEAKER_00: 1:55:59

And that's the disc assessment. We just did your disc comparison report, which is a narrowed-down version of a full disc, did really have a meaningful conversation about the two of you.

SPEAKER_04: 1:56:09

Well, Marcus, thank you so much. This has been so eye-opening for the two of us and to look at ourselves side by side. As we kind of close out this section of the conversation, because we're going to continue with the driving forces. As we think about life, love, loss, legacy, and the stories that we're telling and sharing our own and others, and we're really thinking about people navigating these beautiful experiences of their life, but also some very complicated and challenging experiences of their life. What are some ways that you can really see people utilizing this information to help them navigate what they face in their life journey?

SPEAKER_00: 1:56:56

I think anytime that you can understand another human being better than you currently do, you will always be in a better position to communicate with them, to relate to them, to support them, to encourage them, to challenge them when they need it in challenging moments as well. It's just the more you know, the more you can do, the better you can be. And I just feel very so strongly because I've done so many thousands of these work with so many thousands of people and seen the changes in myself and in others that when we really understand another human being better than we currently do, we put ourselves in a better position to be better with them and to share life at a higher level with them, whether it is a high or a low, a challenge or a victory. It really ties us together, it sews us up. And I think more than ever, we all need to come together in our lives individually and just do what we can to be there with each other and for each other and to inspire each other. Amazing. We'll do driving forces next, which is a little bit shorter, but it also will finish with integration. So these potential strengths will come out of both your disc and driving forces being put together. It's a lot of fun. So we'll get to do these as just these pages right here. I'll kind of show you guys a precursor. So basically, your scores, similarities and differences, right? I mean, right off the bat, these two bottom ones are different. We can see that you share harmonious and the rest of your values are different. So when your mom said you guys are so alike, but you're so different, behaviorally, you have a lot of similarities with some differences, but value-wise, you're different. And this comes to play, this bubbles up into your behavior. We're also gonna get to see your scores here, the differences between you, how steep or how close the scores are all the way throughout. What are Aaron's strengths, the limitations you both might have, what energizes both of you based on your driving forces, what may stress you out based on your driving forces, your primary cluster, and then we're gonna get a chance to look at your graphs side by side, and then we'll go back in, and this is where we blend your behaviors and your motivators. What are Aaron's strengths when we do that? What are Kelly's strengths? I'll have you guys pick those, conflicts that you may have, and then ideal environment.

SPEAKER_04: 1:59:06

I can't wait. The fun is just gonna keep getting funner because it is fun being us. It is fun being us.

SPEAKER_03: 1:59:16

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SPEAKER_04: 2:00:08

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SPEAKER_03: 2:00:23

Because the PIG isn't just a podcast. It's a place to remember that even in the midst of grief, life goes on, resilience matters, and love never leaves. Thanks for being on this journey with us. Until next time, hogs and kisses, everyone!